any-space-whatever

Ah, Another Christmas

2008-12-25T07:49:00.000-08:00

The more they occur, the less exciting they seem.
Another holiday is over. We are in Columbus, Ohio and getting ready to return to Cambridge. It has been fun but I am ready to leave the land of the endless malls.
Happy holidays all around. Lets all start planning New Years!

Time Waster/Text Analyzer

2008-11-21T07:15:00.000-08:00

So I came across this site thanks to this blog. What is does is use the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator and lets you find out your blog's type.
My results are not too surprising:

The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.

The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.

Goodbye B-Side Lounge

2008-11-03T12:53:00.000-08:00

So last night was it for the B-Side Lounge. It is all over. Doors are locked and we no longer have a place to hang out and bitch and moan and commiserate. It was really sad. We found out via text on Friday night and proceeded to spend a few hours on Saturday and Sunday hanging with the old crowd and remembering the good times. I am actually getting a little choked up just writing these words.
It is amazing that we all found our own little bit of Heaven in Ward 4. The B was where we all became friends. It is where we took family members to either show off or frighten off! It was a place where you could walk in and not have to deal with attitude from the bartenders. The music was cool and they often played stuff we wanted to hear. It was the site of our Sunday night funniest home video ritual. No more will we sit around laughing at fat people falling down (As Dave often refered to the show). Or the night that they would put the Simpson's on just so we'd stay a little bit longer. Then there was the night we made the mistake of staying too late on a Saturday and the crown was so deep and crazy that they let us out through the kitchen. Then there was the night that Clinton hung out with Ben Afleck and Jennifer Lopez.
There are so many people that we have become friends with over the years of hanging out there. Last night most of them showed and we all tried to think of a place that we could turn to. And none of us could. The B-Side is irreplacable.
I'll be posting some photos from last night later. Good times indeed.

Palate Cleanser

2008-11-01T12:49:00.000-07:00

I feel like I have to put some things up here that will distract from my horror story detailed below. So I'm going to put up some pics. We traveled a bit this past summer and fall and I took quite a few pics so I think I'll bring there over here and show them to you all.

Providence, October 4th.
I spent a Saturday down in Providence to check out the new wing of the RISD museum.
I took some pics. Here ya go.

This is a new condo tower being put up on the riverfront thingy in downtown. This used to be a giant wasteland. I believe this is where they held the first X games way back in the early nineties. They built a ton of skate ramps here.

This is the new RISD wing on North Main Street. Kinda bleh. It looks like a cheaper version of the New Museum in NYC. which is pictured below.

Sorry it is kinda dark. It was nighttime don't ya know.

These are photos of some of Dale Chihuly's glass pieces. There was a little show of his work up in the new galleries at RISD.

Ugh

2008-10-31T12:37:00.000-07:00

This week has been brutal. The GREs sucked ass. The test itself wasn't that hard. I breezed through the Math cause I just didn't care. The writing went well. I think I did an okay job there. And well, I could have done better on the verbal. I was very disappointed with my score. Granted I got 80th percentile which I guess is pretty good. I just would have like to have done better. It's annoying. Especially when one of the grad programs actually makes a point of saying that they'd like at least a 700on the verbal section. I did not make that. What was even more aggravating is that I was getting really obsure terms. So naturally I thought I was doing pretty well.
Anyway...whatever. I contemplated another go at them but decided it would be a waste of my time and energy with no guarantee that I'd even get a better score. My energy needs to go towards the applications and screw them and their damn test.
Speaking of tests, that testing center is a freakin racket! The amount of money they must make just by setting up some ghetto ass computers running testing software that hasn't been rewritten since DOS is astounding. They jokers are making a mint with very little effort.

Otherwise I guess things are going well. Class is cruising along. Work is boring and dull as usual. It is Halloween and we are locking ourselves in for the evening. C is a bit paranoid as we were broken into last year on this evening.
I'm trying to decide what to cook for dinner.
hmmmmm food.

Family Tales.

2008-10-30T10:22:00.000-07:00

I'm going to avoid lamenting on the whys and wherefores of not consistently blogging. It seems that every time I return to this blog it is simply to spend time apologising for not writing and then never write again. Wait...I'm doing that right now. D'oh!

Anyway, I am here to regale you all with a tale about a recent family visit that should serve as a warning to all those inclined to invite family members to stay with them.
Last week C's (significantly) older brother and his new wife came to Boston. They stayed in a hotel for three days and then moved in with us. This is the couple whose wedding we attended last fall in Sonoma which is where they live. The first few days were fine. We lost a Sunday as they immediately called us and wanted to hang out. We spent the day giving them a tour of MIT and Harvard. A tour that they seemed awfully disinterested in. I don't think I have ever seen someone who visits a place and then doesn't really care to see anything. C's brother had the nerve to call MIT "the Stanford of the east coast." Seriously? Are you kidding me?
Anyway, we proceeded to spend the day bar hopping as the only thing they did seem interested in was drinking tequila. Ended up at the B-Side where our tab was a startling $150. They paid for it which was nice cause I certainly didn't drink my share of that in beer. I would have been comatose!
Monday, Tuesday and Wed were fairly uneventful. Both C and I worked so we didn't have much interaction. Sis-in-law made enchilladas on Tuesday that were pretty jammin despite being made from overly processed ingredients. I think my stomach is still digesting most of them. It has been many, many years since Rice-A-Roni passed through my lips or touched one of my pans. Sure, maybe it is the San Francisco treat, but I'm not sure it was a treat to consume.
So Thursday comes along and we all meet at the B-Side after I finish class.
Tequila gets consumed. Lots of it. Although not as much as Sunday as the bill was only $105 this time. Which I paid. There is some tiff between the brother and the wife apparently due to his smoking. She has a bit of a hissy because he smells like cigarettes.
We get back to our apartment and order pizza. They proceed to go into the library where they are sleeping and begin yelling and screaming at each other. Loudly. Very, very loudly...to the point where C has to barge in and pull them apart. He throws his brother out of the house and the wife goes tearing off after him. She comes back a few minutes later and is on the phone with the airline trying to change her flight. All the while throwing her crap into her bag. I roll my eyes after offering up some token sympathy then go back to watching TV.
Then the brother returns and they begin fighting again. This time louder and apparently physically. C has to barge in again and pull them apart. She is screaming and crying. At this point I head to the bedroom with my book and leave poor C to mediate. I have no idea what time he gets to bed. I crash as I have to work in the AM. C is fortunate to have taken the day off. Although by this point he'd rather be at work than spend time with his crazy brother and the wife.

Friday comes along. C feigns a migraine, hands the crazies a map and sends them out into the city. We all meet up that evening for dinner at Legal Sea Foods in Kendall.
Over the course of dinner I start to notice some unusual behaviour from the in-laws. I realise as the appetisers arrive that they are playing a bit of pocket pool with each other. They have cleverly disguised their doings with napkins. I try to look away and pretend that I have no idea what is going on. I look above their heads and out the window. I strain to make sense of the reflected images of the televisions. Anything to take my mind off of the shenanigans taking place on the other side of the table. Now bear in mind these people are almost fifty years of age. And this is their behaviour in a restaurant. Granted, Legal's is not the Four Seasons but surely some decorum is in order? C is oblivious. Which is probably for the best. Who wants to see their siblings acting this way! Honestly, I don't want to see anyone acting like this! Unfortunately, I can no longer say this.

I kept my mouth shut about this. They got in a cab on Saturday morning. I went to the gym for a couple of hours and C proceeded to play Batman Lego. A friend of ours came over that night for drinks and I spilled the beans. C was horrified and has banned them from ever visiting us again.

There is a lesson here. My family never visits. They might voice some desire to but they never do. I can count on one hand the number of visits I have had. And two of those involved an academic graduation.

oy!

2008-08-20T10:53:00.001-07:00

OMG. Back at work. totally sucks. It took me most of the morning to get through the emails I had waiting. Lame-ness abounds.
I'm struggling to keep my head up here. I forgot to change my alarm clock back to the appropriate time and so woke up with very little time to make it to work.
So annoying. Thankfully the morning meeting was taking place today so most people didn't even notice that I was a little late.
So tired and sleepy here.

Ahhhh vacation.

2008-08-19T07:17:00.000-07:00

I have been on a mini-vacation for the past few days. Six glorious days away from the office. Wonderful. I went to my parent's house in Newport for a couple of days. Forgot my camera alas. It was nice. I went to the beach for a little while. Thankfully the towny beach wasn't crowded at all. Did some grilling and watched a whole lot of Olympics. I introduced my mother to the pleasures of Project Runway. Good times.
Came back and celebrated a friends birthday on Saturday. Movie and dinner which was a drunken good time. The movie, "Bottle Shock," was just okay. Nothing spectacular. There were actual moments that were sweet and then moments that were painful. The script was particularly awful and trite. But Alan Rickman is always a joy to watch. He just wasn't in the film enough to bring it to a decent level. But dinner and a whole lot of drinks at the B-Side was a perfect way to push the movie out of my mind.
Sunday I went for a walk around town with W & J. We did the loop through the North End and over to the ICA. I hadn't seen the completed Kennedy Greenway. It was pretty cool. People were actually using it too!

Yesterday I cleaned out the storage room. Blech. Dirty and hot and annoying but now it is done. I am lugging it all to Goodwill today.
Might do a walkthrough of the Harvard Museums this afternoon.
We'll see what happens. Maybe some grilling tonight if the weather holds.

The Police

2008-07-31T13:31:00.000-07:00

We are off to see the Police this evening. Very exciting!
Except thunderstorms are moving in and we are seeing them at Great Woods (I refuse to call it the Comcast Center - I hate that fucking company!!). I understand that Sting no longer looks like he does in the above picture but I would rather think of him this way.

Jeez, three months

2008-06-26T12:14:00.001-07:00

Wow, I can't believe so much time has gone by.
Damn. Well, I guess I'll post something. Today I reached the point where I could no longer read news sites. I just so got frustrated and annoyed with the way our government is turning. Congress went ahead and passed the revised FISA compromise giving major companies immunity and expanding the government's ability to spy without a warrant. The Supreme Court went ahead and cut Exxon's penalty significantly to the detriment of the communities who's livelihood's were destroyed and the also threw out the ban on handguns. While I am a fan and true believer in a hands-off methodology of government I am astounded at the argument that in this day and age people need to have and use handguns. Gay people can't get married (except for two states) but we are certainly free to purchase a gun for whatever purpose we chose. It is distressing and disheartening. I am especially disappointed in Obama and his repeated stances both on the Supreme Court's ruling on the death penalty for child rapists and his refusal to take a stand on gay marriage. What does it say when you are all for execution as a punishment and fail to stand up for people to have the right to marry? I don't believe in execution. It isn't a deterrent. The United States is one of the few countries in the world that still executes. It puts us in the astounding company of China, Myanmar and Russia. Which of course, given the state of the union (in terms of liberties and such) we are in fitting company.
It truly makes me sad for all of us. I'm tired of being upset at the way our country treats people inside and out. I think it is time to move to another country.

Goin back to Cali

2008-03-19T00:48:00.000-07:00

So I have arrived in SF. It has been one long ass day. Up at 6, work at 7-ish, class at 12:30, home at 3 and airport at 4 only to discover that my flight was delayed an hour and a half. I spent 3 and a half hours at Logan. And I must say that Terminal C is a bit ghetto. They trick you by making the main lobby area nice then after you go through security you discover that there ain't shit in the frigging place. They put all the restaurants and stores before security. What is that about? Didn't land until 11:30 SF time which is 2:30 Boston. I am exhausted and yet not tired. I don't know what it is but I feel that it is much easier to fly to Europe than California. I don't understand why...it just is. I think I am going to try and sleep now. I'm somewhat annoyed because I don't like any of the books I brought with me. I'm going to have to look for something else to read while I am here.
Oh and I should probably finish that paper I am presenting on Saturday. That would be a good thing.

Speed Racer

2008-03-11T12:39:00.000-07:00

There are two new trailers for the Wachowski Brothers next film Speed Racer out.
This film looks like total eye candy. And it is starring a notable piece of eye candy, Matthew Fox! Sa-weet!

I have annoyingly fallen one episode behind in LOST. I have to quickly catch up before Thursday! Help me iTUnes! You're my only hope!

Blah, blah, blah

2008-03-10T09:42:00.000-07:00

So I am trying to keep up to date on this thing but it is kinda hard when nothing really happens in my life. Had a nice weekend. Friday night was hectic and drunk-filled. I got my first Newbury St Salon haircut. I'm not sure how I like it. It looked very different when I left the salon. My hair was gelled to extreme and shaped into some pompadore thing. I felt very fetching and architectural. I have yet to be able to reproduce this. For me it just flops down. Whatever, I paid $40 for an $85 dollar cut. It looks much better then when I go to Supercuts.
I am struggling with the writing again. I just can't wrap my brain around my paper topic. I only have a week and a half left before I present it. I need to get my shit together. I'm not too worried about the paper sucking since I am presenting it at 8 AM on a Saturday morning. Don't think I'll be overwhelmed by the crowd. I'm more worried about getting my ass up in time!
Oh, the one sheeter for the new Indiana Jones film has been released. People are going gaga over it. I'm not so impressed. Trailer is pretty fun though.

Watchman

2008-03-06T15:39:00.000-08:00

The official Watchman site has posted pics of the characters in action from the upcoming film. You got Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach (creepy looking out of costume - seems appropriate), Jeffrey Dean Morgan as The Comedian (meh - just okay looking), Patrick Wilson as Nite Owl (hot! too bad he is mostly covered up. Maybe there is a scene with him in Mormon undergarments? It would spare me from having to watch Angels in America again), Matthew Goode as Ozymandias (sometimes cute and sometimes he looks like a smelly hipster), and Malin Akerman as Silk Spectre (who kinda looks like an anime character). This looks to be quite good. They have just finished principle shooting and now begin a year of post. It is premiering on March 6th 2009.

Yet another one.

2008-02-20T13:24:00.000-08:00

Okay, okay, okay. I promise to do better with this whole blogging thing. I have been a bit distracted. Semester is in full swing. How do I know this since I am no longer a student? Well, let me tell you folks. I have begun my second semester as a teaching instructor and as I sit here typing this up I am consiously ignoring a stack of papers that are in dire need of grading. You know, at the end of last semester and my marathon evenings of grading I promised myself that I would not let this happen! I would do better and be more conscientious! That is out the window. At least for this week.
I am doing better in watching the films beforehand. That's good, right?
I also have a paper looming over me. I am presenting a paper at a conference in SF in March. I am really only re-writing a paper from a previous one but still. I need to jump on that shit.

Anyway. I am outa hea. Leaving the office and heading out into the cold.
I am way over this whole winter thing.

names...

Is this what I signed up for?

2008-02-01T12:37:00.000-08:00

Once again time has gotten away from me and a month (or more) has passed since my last post. I am buying my new laptop this weekend so perhaps I'll take on the blogging again. Not much has really happened since December. I have settled into my work. I had a month off from teaching which unfortunately ends next week. I'm not sure how I feel about. The professor I am working with this spring is awfully disorganised. He is very nice and very smart of course but he hadn't even nailed down the syllibi when we had lunch two weeks ago! I think he is going to stress me out. Tough part is that I am now accustomed to making the extra $650 a month so I am loath to give it up. And to a certain extent it can be fun. I had a bunch of duds last semester. Only two out of 23 students actively spoke up in class. It is kind of frustrating when it is supposed to be a recitation/conversational hour not another lecture.
I am really feeling like I need a vacation. Shitty part is that my bonus wasn't nearly enough to buy my computer and take C and myself someplace fun. I'm just getting sick of Boston and all of the people who occupy it. I don't mind the people I work with and the people I hang out with but it is the in between spaces that bother me. I don't actually mind most of the people at the gym. With the exception being the petite, blonde, "muffy" office women who have to do the eliptical side by side and chat away. There are a couple of men who do this too which I find confounding. My friend CA goes to my gym and the conversation we engage in is "see you at the bar tonight?" as we each remove one headphone. This is followed by a grunt and we move on.
I really got nothing to say here. I am going to lay my head down on my desk now and take a nap...

And just how did I get here?

2007-12-05T20:52:00.000-08:00

So today I had one of those days where I question what I am doing. This was prompted by my saying (quite loudly, I might add) to a co-worker that whatever happens at work doesn't matter cause it's not like it is my "real" job. Completely forgetting that, yeah, it kinda is! They pay me, a lot of money, and while I was intent on dissing my self in a "self-deprecating" kinda way, she took it the wrong way.
Understandable!
But it lead me to a larger examination of just what I am doing. What am I doing? Am I killing time until I go back to school? Am I killing time until I can make art because C is going to be making all the money and I can be the "artist" partner? What exactly is going on? I want to know. I want to know just what the fuck my own brain is thinking. What got me here? Do I really want to go back to school, get my phd, write and teach? Nothing this semester put me on the track to want to teach. Perhaps it was my own inexperience? I have taught film/video production, sound, editing but teaching an actual class that consists merely of lecture and with no technological component? Hard. H.A.R.D. Hard as a muther fucker. I remember when I taught the pre-college program. I felt like every day I was winging that shit. was I? Did they learn anything? The problem is that those students had to make a video. These kids don't. They have to write a paper and that is what I critique. Hard. H.A.R.D.
But do I want to sit at my desk and run reports for some annoying ass clowns? I like a lot of the people I deal with. But then again there are some people that I want to beat down into the ground!
Ah. I don't know what I am babbling about. I am up late, tired and dealing with a cranky C. I need to get my ass to bed.

names

Ugh! Winter.

2007-12-03T12:14:00.000-08:00

So it appears that winter is finally here. I look out the window of the office next to mine and watch the snow pass by vertically. Should be a nice ride home. The ride in this morning was as annoying as it always is when the weather sucks. Lots of people decide not to drive. They pile their overweight bodies into the MBTA train and subject us daily commuters to their cluelesness. These are the people who have no idea that there is a small degree (very small - cause this is Boston) of etiquette involved in taking the subway. They pile in invariably weighed down with a large backpack that increases the amount of square footage that they occupy by at least threefold. They enter the train and pause, spinning in place, trying vainly to decide which direction to go in. Thereby holding up the entire loading process by blocking said entrance. The crowd begins to gather behind them growing increasingly agitated as they too would like to enter the train and stand in such a manner. It is about this time that I am prompted to change my music from something soothing and calming to a genre decidedly more aggressive. It does not improve my attitude towards the masses. I hate them so much.
On an up note this weekend went very well. I purchased the new Futurama film on DVD this weekend. They are releasing a series of films that at some point in the future will be divided up and screened as new seasons. It was extremely funny. More so than the Simpson's movie of the past summer. It is clear which show has the better writers.
We also watched Delicatessen. I had seen it before but C had not. Some of my students are presenting on the film this coming Thursday. It really is one of my favourites. C prefers Amelie but this one is much darker in tone - which is my preference. Jeunet really is a wonderful director.
I have to watch Fellini's 8 1/2 this week as well. Probably will do that one tonight. I haven't seen it in over a decade. Looking forward to it.

Well, well, well

2007-11-30T12:50:00.000-08:00

It appears that I can post from work. I have tried and tried and for some reason when I go to compose from Gmail I get blocked. Well,I have discovered a way in. That is excellent. I shall begin complaining about my life and everything in it anew!
Lets start with today shall we?
Here is this mornings course of events:
Today was take the kitten in to be spayed day. C booked the zipcar so we could do this. However, he booked it for 8PM not 8AM. I arrive at the parking lot to find no car. Call up zipcar ready to begin screaming at someone only to have my customer service rep deride me for my own (or rather C's) stupidity. I had to walk about a mile and a half away to Kendall Square to pick up the "new" reserved car. Get in car head back to pick them up.
Turns out the vet was throwing up copiously and had cancelled our appointment.
I then leave for work and green line is moving behind schedule. I sit at Lechmere for 15 minutes in the cold.
Get to work at 9:25, compile a report fast and furiously for a 10 o'clock meeting. The meeting is subsequently cancelled at 9:55 just as I finished photocopying and collating.
Check my bank account and it turns out that the bank had autocharged C's student loan payment from my account because the original account (our joint account) had been closed by us last month. The bank decided to take it out of my account without my approval so I was overdrawn by $400. with an additional $60 overdraft fee. I had to storm down to the bank only to have them tell me that they couldn't do anything because I opened my account at the Dartmouth St. branch and I had to deal with them! I wrote my office number down and told "Victor" that he should resolve this and when he did to give me a call, then I stormed out.
And all of that took place before 11 AM.
I really needed a cocktail! Liquid lunch anyone?
Dare I go to the gym today? Who the hell knows what can go wrong next! I am being very good with my gym attendance. I have been four days a week for the past month. My Express button down shirts no longer have uncomfortable stretching points in the middle regions of my torso.
On a happier note we gave our students an extra week to write their final papers. Which means no grading this weekend!!!Huzzah!
I am exhausted from the pace of this semester. I have been shuttling back and forth from downtown to campus twice a week and I am seriously ready to be done with it! Of course now that one of my former professors knows that I am interested in doing the instructor side gig he has recruited me for the spring. The added appeal being that I will be at Harvard and hopefully not have to deal with poor writing skills. MIT students are smart but writing skills? Not so much. I have had students who have never written a paper...NEVER! I'm sure they can work the fuck out of a problem set but analyse a film? Clearly not.
I guess that is enough for now. Back to websurfing, I mean work...

Half Naked Mormons mmmmmmm....oh wait. That is so wrong!

2007-11-14T22:18:00.000-08:00

I have given up writing about Paris. Not my fault really. Our apartment was broken into and well, I no longer have a laptop nor photos loaded onto said machine to make my story that much more interesting and visually engaging. I am up late tonight with a bout of insomnia and came across this story from the Sydney Morning Herald. I wish I had something better to give you on my return to blogging but hey...half naked Mormon missionaries is all I got.
Sure, they went a little over board on the body grease but I think a half naked Mormon is better than one in a tie banging on my door. oh wait. Perhaps this is a continuation of that fantasy I had...

Almost done with Paris

2007-10-23T15:08:00.001-07:00

I am almost finished writing about the Paris trip. Then I can return to complaining about my life and the travails therein.
Monday morning I once again work up and worked on papers. I critiqued and began emailing students while sitting at a cafe enjoying wonderfully strong cup of coffee.
Monday was to be shopping day. It was rainy and gloomy, perfect for window and interior varieties. We set out from the hotel and headed up the Rue de Bac. Our first stop was Sonia Rykiel Homme. She doesn't sell her men's line in the US so we had to make a stop. I wasn't a big fan of her clothes (big, wide horizontal lines on everything - seriously?). C found a jacket that he quite liked. It was kinda rain-coaty and kinda not. It was 500 Euros. And it would have to be tailored. He decided to think about it. We walked about the heart of St. Germain de Pres, all the little fancy shops. Quite a few of them are in Boston now so it didn't make sense to buy anything but it was fun. We ended up heading to the Pantheon as I had nixed it on the last trip.

Foucault's Pendulum - interesting but was a little underwhelming. It was very small. There were signs not to take photos but lots of people were so I said fuck it and took a couple. Didn't really come out. We went down into the catacombs and checked shit out. I had to leave after a little while, there was an odd smell down there, like old people and dirty feet. blech! And it really creeped me out.
We touched base with Bev, our new friend from Saturday, and made plans to meet for drinks at Harry's. The weather cleared up and we headed down from the Pantheon and had lunch at McDonald's!! Yay! I was very happy to have a simple hamburger and fries. I was so freaking sick of French food at this point. We started back towards St Germain and the other side of the river.

Stopped at Notre Dame so C could replace his lost photos from last year. Crossed the bridge over to Ilse St. Louis and up towards the Bastille. Checked out a few galleries on St. Louis. I took a photo of a cute dog sitting outside a shop waiting for his owner.

We ended up doing a large loop from the Bastille over to Les Halles and the Opera.
Checked out a courtyard off of the Place de Vosges which was pretty cool. We stopped at Agnes B Homme to check out their clothes. She only has three shops in the US that sell her men's line: NYC, LA and SF. C convinced me to buy a jacket. I have since fallen in love with it but it did cost a small fortune. It stressed me out.

Next stop was the Opera district. We were running late for our drink with Bev. We made a quick stop at Hugo Boss. C asked to try on a jacket that was in the window. They had two left. He fell in love with it. He bought it. It is admittedly a fabulous jacket that they are not selling in the US. We both really needed a drink now. Off to Harry's!
The night began with a bang. We each had three Manhattans as only Harry's bar can make them - extremely drinkable!

Sunday Cont.

2007-10-20T08:55:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in a hotel in Santa Rosa, CA on yet another wedding jaunt. My body tells me it is almost noon while the clock says 9. I am wide awake and have been for about an hour. I decided to tackle the rest of the Paris trip.
I need to get this down before I start forgetting it. Plus I need to start complaining about things that are happening right now! I can't do that until I finish my Paris story.
We left Cafe Americain and headed back to the hotel. We were due to meet W & J for dinner. We swung by the Jau de Paume so that C could buy his Pierre & Gilles print that he had obsessed about over lunch. We stopped by l"Orangerie to check out the Monets. This is a museum that has been in the process of being refurbished for about five years. It finally opened last summer. It is a museum that was designed exclusively for Monet's Waterlillie paintings that he donated to the French government early in the 20th century shortly after he finished painting. I had seen a couple of them at the MFA a few years ago. They let them tour while the museum was being built. They are quite stunning to see all together.

There is another gallery built underneath the Monet rooms housing the private collection of a French couple who were dealers for Picasso, Gauguin, Pissaro and others. It was okay. A lot of things by people who made some pretty famous works but these were clearly the things that didn't sell. Mediocre paintings from great painters.
We hung out at the hotel for a while. The guys came over and we had drinks then heading out. The place we had wanted to go for dinner was closed on Sundays so we let them pick the place. It was a nice little bistro and we got to sit out on the street. J was not too pleased at this as you tend to get harrassed by street venders when you do this. Some guy walked up and down playing an accordian - we gave him a Euro - then a couple people selling roses came by, saw the four of us men sitting there and didn't even bother coming over. Slightly offended. Food was great of course, J and I shared a beef carpacio which I had never had. Tasty. Couple bottles of wine as well.

We walked around for a bit looking for a place to have a cocktail, window shopping. The St Germain neighborhood is perfect for this. It is full of fancy shops full of gorgeous things.
We ended up having drinks and this "trendy" art themed bar.

Another couple bottles of wine and then we all stumbled back to our respective hotels. W & J were leaving Monday for the States. Tearful good byes and promises to visit Paris together again. (Not True - but sounds nice eh?) We ended the evening with W showing us his favourite courtyard in Paris. It was a tiny, simple, little park with four chestnut trees surrounding a lamp. Perfect. And, of course, it was surrounded by fancy shops selling gorgeous things!

Saturday night and Sunday

2007-10-07T06:55:00.000-07:00

The night continued. We found a bar that would let us have one drink, or rather one bottle actually. There was a group of people behind us who were also celebrating a birthday. We decided to call it a night when K accidentally spilled a glass of red wine on John's lap. We managed to hail a cab in short order this time and headed back to our hotels.
Sunday morning/Noon was rough. I crawled out of bed around 11:30 or so. While C pulled himself together I headed to the cafe across the street to finish grading papers. I was in dire need of bad greasy food i.e. McDonald's. The only one I could remember seeing was across the river right by the Louvre. We headed out. We got there around 2 and the line was out the door and down the street. So we nixed that. I remembered that there was another one on the Champs Elysee. We moved on.

One the way there we passed the Jau De Palme museum. They were having a Pierre Y Gilles show and Sunday was the last day. So we walked through. Great show. Pierre and Gilles are a gay couple who do portraits. They take the photograph, paint it then photograph it again and print it. The have done some amazing work. And some mediocre work as well. The problem with a retrospective show is that you get a bit of both.
From here we moved on in search of food. Wandered into the Opera neighborhood. We end up eating at an American themed restaurant. I had a burger and C had a club sandwich. It was very odd, they were playing US college football on the TVs. Luckily they were also playing the Australia vs. Fiji rugby match. C had never actually seen rugby in action. He was suitably horrified.

More from Saturday night's party

2007-10-04T17:37:00.000-07:00

The Party

2007-10-03T03:50:00.000-07:00

The timeline of the party was drinks at 7:45 and dinner at 8:30. At a little after 7 we finish up our glasses of wine and begin our trek to the restaurant. We had a general idea of where it was. Over by Les Halles somewhere. What we didn't realise was exactly how far it was. It was really far. Both of us are reticent to take a cab in Paris - their metering system is vague, they are hard to flag down - so we had opted to walk. We walked and walked and walked. Both of us are wearing dark wool suits and it is far hotter in Paris than the weather channel had informed us. By the time we make it there we are both sweating up a storm. Bear in mind that the restaurant is also deep in the Marais. We had to walk through a neighborhood best described as being "like Times Square in the eighties." Porn shops, ladies of the evening, the whole shebang. But we walk in and are immediately handed a glass of champagne. It went uphill from there.

The building housing the restaurant was built sometime in the 12th century. It was redecorated and turned into a restaurant around 1910. It is an art deco wonder. Three floors. The first floor is the main restaurant, the second is for private parties numbering over ten and the third floor has three private rooms: one for ten, one for about eight and one for two. We were on the second floor.
The party was wonderful. W & J had put out place cards so that people wouldn't sit near someone they knew. I sat across from a wonderful woman whose husband used to be the head of development for the MFA. To my right was a woman who sold properties in the Hamptons for Sothebys and to my left was a charming British woman who used to teach French at a private boys school in the UK. Needless to say she came in handy.

Food was astounding: there were seven courses. We had blue footed chicken (a breed specific to France), there was a foie gras course, a cheese course (made me very happy) and so much else I don't remember. Oh and lots and lots of wine. After dinner they made people switch seats so that they had to chat with someone new. I ended up chatting with a woman who is the curator for a private collector of Latin American art based in Phoenix. She was fabulous. We made plans to hang out later in the week. Most people were heading back to the UK on Sunday while we were staying until Wed. It was the perfect opportunity to hang out with someone new.

People began leaving after cake (which was around 1). We hung around with W & J and their friend K who is American but lives in London. She is a painter who teaches at a university art school in the city. We headed out in search of cabs. Couldn't find one to save our lives. We ended up at another bar.

more later.

Another day in Paris

2007-10-01T19:01:00.000-07:00

Saturday. A bit hung over once again. I http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifgot up around 11, cleaned up, left C lying in bed and headed to the nearby cafe to grade papers. I had about 27 one page papers that I had to read, edit and grade. I thought it would be easier than it was. C joined me around 1:30 or so. We had a bit more coffee then headed out. We went off towards Bon Marche. Specifically the food market which was un-fuckin-believeable. Looking at the cheese counter was like looking into the sun. I couldn't do it. I had to walk away. There also had a fucking Veuve Clicquot champagne bar - in a super market! I was ready to move in at this point. I would have slept on the floor between the croissants and the fuckin champagne. We grabbed a few pastries, some juice and water and headed off. We ended up walking around les Invalides (Napoleon's tomb). Sat on a bench and ate our snacks.

We walked up to and past the Eiffel tower and ended up at Paris' newest museums, the Quai Branly. It was one of the worst museums I have ever encountered. Bad, bad, bad. I thought that the Anthro museum in Chicago was bad but this was really, really bad. Poorly designed, ill-lit, and just a pain in the ass to navigate. The only cool thing about it was the outside. The building was fantastic from the outside. The inside? Not so much. It was basically a history of French colonialism. If France never occupied a country there wasn't much in the museum. Nothing from India, China, or Australia. All Africa. And lots of it. Kinda sad really.
Afterwards we walked back towards the hotel, looking for someplace to eat along the way. To no avail. We ended up back at some bistro on St. Germain eating pasta. Good but have I mentioned yet that the World Rugby Cup was taking place while we were in Paris? There was a contingent of Irish sitting at the bar and cheering on the UK while we tried to eat. Day three of this shit and I was getting pretty fuckin sick of the Irish and their big fuckin mouths.
Back at the hotel, changed, had a glass or two of wine and headed out to W's birthday party. That event is an entry all by itself. It involved lots of wine, cool people and a shitload of food.

Names...

Paris Diary

2007-10-01T03:49:00.000-07:00

Day two in Paris started off well. We slept until noon. We rolled out of bed and proceeded to spend the day leiserly walking around the city. Strolled along the Tullieries, which we had done in winter but it was a much different experience in late summer/early fall. We did a bit of shopping and stopped for lunch at an Italian cafe we had visited last year. It was as good as I remembered and the little old lady who waited on us didn't seem to mind my broken French. We spent the afternoon wandering around the Pompidou Center. There were several interesting things. They were doing a show of the collection. I got a little burned out. How many friggin Kandinskis can one take in an afternoon? Headed back to the hotel to get ready for drinks and dinner with our friends W & J. The main reason we were here in Paris was to celebrate W's 40th birthday. The had returned to Paris from a cruise through the south of France that afternoon. We all planned to meet up at their hotel for drinks and then move on to dinner. Ah, the glory of Blackberry's.

Needless to say we ate and drank the night away. The others piled into various taxis and the four of us (C & I, and W & J) went back to their hotel for another bottle of wine in the courtyard. We eventually stumbled back to our hotel - thankfully only blocks away.

Crap, I have to go to work now. I'll post more later.

Home

2007-09-27T04:05:00.000-07:00

Back from Paris last night. Exhausted. Nothing like a taxi strike to make one's trip to Charles De Gaulle interesting. Schlepping our luggage through the Paris metro is not something I enjoyed doing. It set the tone for the day.
I took over 500 pics so we'll be setting up the flicker thing this weekend.
Off to work this morning. C took the rest of the week off. Fucker. At least I don't have to do laundry.
I'll begin posting a summary of each day shortly. I know you are all bursting with anticipation.

Paris

2007-09-22T01:48:00.001-07:00

We have arrived in Paris. Actually, as I write this we are beginning day three. Getting here was a total pain in the ass. We took British Air and the flight to Heathrow sucked big time. First of all we were stuck in the center seats - never a good thing. Then a big muscled German guy sat in the seat in front of me and insisted on moving his seat back so far that he was practically in my lap. Throw in the screaming kids to our right and well, you get one of the suckiest flights I have been on. And the food was heinous. Never again will we fly BA. After our flight home that is.
But we arrived safe and sound. Get to our hotel and we can't get into our room until 2. It was 10:30. At this point I had been up the entire time. I cannot sleep on airplanes. So, we have to wander around town until our room is ready. I seriously started hallucinating I was so tired. We had coffee and lunch, walked around Bon Marche and killed some time in an Irish pub. We finally got into our room and crashed for a couple hours. Around 7 we roused ourselves and took a walk over the river looking for a place to get a drink. We ended up at the Hotel Normandy bar. We both ordered a cocktail and tried to relax. Not ten minutes later the local chanteuse began singing cabaret songs. I had my back to her and honestly couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman singing. She began with "Misty" and got the lyrics completely wrong. In her version it was not a kitten up a tree but a chicken. Something got lost in translation. She then began scatting and wringing her hands not in a jazz-like manner but more tourettes-esque. It was a wonder to behold. By the time she began channeling Carol Channing we decided it was time to go. I thought that C should get his picture taken with her but alas he didn't got for it. We wandered around a bit taking photos and ended up in the Latin Quarter right at dinner time. We picked some ubur trendy restaurant (unbeknownst to us) and I proceeded to have the rarest hamburger I have ever had in my life. Apparently this place is known for it's steak tartar. Everyone around us was eating it. We decided to call it a night. Had a glass of wine in the hotel bar and proceeded to crash. We both ended up sleeping for 12 hours. It was so nice.

Vacation...all I ever wanted.

2007-09-19T03:54:00.001-07:00

The day is finally here. Tonight we get on a plane and head to Paris. I am dreading the trip for several reasons, none of which have anything to do with reality.
1. started new job - feel kinda guilty that I am leaving so soon. But they knew that when they hired me. They just finished training me on some big reports that I had to spend the past three days training someone else on so it gets done for me.
2. Missing a recitation section. They also knew this when they hired me to teach it. Still feel guilty having another instructor cover for me. I'm compensating by grading papers on the plane.
3. Leaving the children home alone - our neighbors are gonna watch them. A is going to come over and do schoolwork so they will have someone present (probably more then usual as we are out so often). I realise they are just cats but still...
4. Instead of taking Air France and having a non-stop trip we are going British Air and laying over at Heathrow. It has been several years since I went through there but I do recall it being a complete pain in the ass. All at five in the morning. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.
This is all made up for by actually being in Paris for a week. I must admit I am a new convert to the joys of Paris and France. I am much more of a Germanic-phile having studied German language & films along with traveling to Berlin many times. I love it, love it, love it. Paris is growing on me. I love Berlin but it was such a freaking pain to find good food - I gather this has changed quite rapidly. Several friends who have been recently have raved about new restaurants etc.
Anyway, we bought a new camera and our hotel has wi-fi so I'll be posting from Paris. If...blogger actually works this time. I tried doing it last year but couldn't get blogger to load. We'll see.
peace out y'all.

Today is just going to suck...I know it.

2007-09-11T03:54:00.000-07:00

The first week of work has come and gone. Nothing very exciting to report. I am still waiting on several pieces of software to come through so I can do the things I was hired to do. Of course by the time this occurs I will be leaving for a week in Paris. A shame I know.
I had my first recitation class last Thursday. Only a few student showed up which is to be expected. The actual first class isn't until today, this afternoon in fact. My Tuesdays will run 6:30 AM to 10 PM. I am already exhausted and I only just got out of the shower.
The reason for this is mainly because I went to a going away party for my friend K last night. She is moving to Hawaii. I am psyched for her but sad to see her go. Also I was a little peeved at C for not remembering to open her evite so the party came as a complete surprise to me. I got off work, went to the gym and then met him at Davio's only to discover that the "short" evening I thought we were having was going to turn out to be much longer. We didn't get home till after midnight and here I am getting up at 6:30 still a little drunk. Blech. I don't like this feeling. I didn't like it when I did it at 23. I don't like it now that I am much, much older. To top it all off we ended up at McD's for late dinner. I'm pretty sure that is contributing to my ass-y feeling.
Lame-ness all around.

Australians

2007-09-06T18:08:00.000-07:00

You can always count on the Australians to give Americans a bunch of shit.
I was glad to hear that they are also willing to stand up to Bush in a way that Americans could never even consider.
Sydney locals are pushing for the largest ever mooning. And our president, ass face Bush gets to be the recipient.

Work...again

2007-09-02T23:01:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to catch up on my blogging. It is 2 AM Monday morning and I got home about 40 minutes ago. I spent my evening serving food, drinks, and a dinosaur cake to about 200 people out west of the city. I have reached the end of my catering run and I am fuh-kin exhausted. I never thought that I would long for the comfort of my office chair (big ass factory that it is). Unbelieveable. If I don't cater for a long, long time I will be happy. I had completely forgotten how brutal it can be. And I am so fucking out of shape it isn't funny. I think the only reason I survived is because I finally started going to the gym again three weeks ago! The one thing that got me through the night was Paris. Granted it wasn't as bad as last week's wedding when I worked in 102 degree heat. Once I got home that night it took me over three hours to get my temp back to normal.
The people tonight were great. Extremely nice and laid back. I worked their rehearsal dinner last night. It is always odd when entering a complete strangers home and taking over all of the public spaces they have created. You enter the house and begin looking around for art (well that is what I do). This simple reason is that, I went to art school, but I also think that people in the Boston area tend to have a great deal of art in their homes. It is important to them either personally or professionally. Having art hanging in a home denotes a certain intellectual curiosity or knowledge that carries a great deal of cultural and social weight.
When I was catering in Rhode Island the art in clients' homes was rare. It was there but often notable for that fact. Degrees of weath perhaps? Social scenes? The people this weekend actually were artists, at least the mothers of the Bride and the host of the rehearsal dinner were. I didn't really get a sense of the grooms family. The brides family were so much more social and present (personality wise).
I'd like to write more but I am so fuckin tired I'm not going to.

Hurst's Diamond Skull finally sells.

2007-08-30T12:42:00.000-07:00

It appears that Damien Hurst's diamond encrusted platinum skull has finally sold.
An investment group has paid $100 million dollars for it.
What was that I posted earlier about the possible collapse of the high end art market? I guess we can disregard that. Apparently those hedge fund people still have plenty of cash to throw around. This is on top of the over $300 million that Hurst's show in June brought in. He has apparently strong armed his gallery into a 30/70 split.

Things, gorgeous things!

2007-08-30T04:41:00.001-07:00

Perhaps I should have clarified my new position mentioned in the previous post.
The investment bank that I used to temp for came chasing after me with a job offer. I gave them a figure which they matched and added a bonus on top of. I start on the 4th. Unfortunately, as I mentioned earlier, I agreed to cater for a few weekends doue to our impending jaunt to Paris on the 19th. This company has agreed to give me the vacation time as part of my hiring package. it is a win-win situation. I really like the people I will be working with. They are not the group of 12 year olds I currently have to deal with at my present place of employment.
I have also been asked to TA an undergrad film class at MIT. This company has also graciously allowed me to do so even though it is technically against corporate policy.
I'll have more on this later.

shit happens

2007-08-28T19:35:00.000-07:00

It has been a few days since I have posted. I feel like I should put something up here.
News: I got a job offer - finally - and I took it, good money and vaca and a whole lot of free time. I am honestly quite confused by it.
I've really got nothing to say. I just wanted to post this clip from Mr Show.

cheers!

Sobriety? Nah!

2007-08-12T07:21:00.000-07:00

Not a whole lot happening this weekend. I am trying to enjoy the free time before I lose my weekends. Starting next Sat I beging a three week catering marathon. I need some extra money (like there is such a thing) as we are leaving for Paris in a few weeks. I will lose weekends but gain some loot. I suppose it is better then sitting on my ass drinking all weekend.
Speaking of drinking I have given up beer for the duration. I thought it would be difficult but now I don't really mind. I had a couple of Guinness' on Friday and, yes they were tasty, but I know they will be waiting for me when I return to beer.
I need to lose twenty pounds or so and as a wise friend once told me "no one ever lost weight drinking beer." Now I've not gone totally crazy sober! I'm still enjoying my old friend alcohol. Instead I have a diet cocktail. Vodka, soda, and a splash of Cran. It is about 80 calories vs. 200-300 in a beer. I don't really like it that much either which means I drink less of them. It is all part of my scheme. That and I have started going to the gym 4 or 5 times a week again. I should be back to my old weight by maybe...next summer?

Stupid aging! Damn you sedentary lifestyle!

Eruption

2007-08-10T20:15:00.000-07:00

I think I was in a game design class with this kid.

Michel Gondry

2007-08-09T18:46:00.001-07:00

I had the pleasure of meeting and having lunch with Michel Gondry. I subsequently participated in a Q & A with him at a university event. He is one of the nicest, most amazingly talented people I have ever met. He is so frickin cool and a kick ass artist. I love him.
He has a new film coming out called Be Kind, Rewind. It looks so fun and smart. It is due December 21st.
I am psyched.

Movie Madness

2007-08-06T16:26:00.000-07:00

So C and I have been in a bit of a movie blitz.
We went to see Harry Potter and the Simpson's Movie. Then watched a couple of horror things On Demand - Silent Hill, Dawn of the Dead (remake), I still have to see Transformers before it leaves the big screen.
Harry Potter - just okay. the novel was pared down quite a bit, many characters removed yet it still felt like it was burdened by a cumbersome narrative. There were times when I thought I was watching a TV mini-series or perhaps Degrassi on the N. Action scenes were done fairly well. Ending felt rushed. Overall I'm glad I saw it but it was one of the more lackluster of the series. Alas. That said, Daniel Radcliffe was very yummy to watch (thankfully now past the age of consent).

Simpson's - Started off with a bang. Great series of jokes that was quickly derailed by a narrative built for a feature film. I wished that they had carried over the TV programs tradition of multiple narratives all unraveling at the same time. But no. All the great secondary characters were represented but relegated to either cameos or quick flashes as background filler. Still liked it though. Two words: Spider-pig!

Silent Hill - Fun, cheesy, gory horror film based on the video game. They managed to carry over the mood and tone of the game. Several scenes were taken directly from the game. Unfortunately the storyline devolved to a rather annoying hell/damnation scenario. I was disappointed.

Dawn of the Dead remake - made by Zack Snyder (300) who will now be helming the Watchman. This film is awesome. I love the fact that the zombies run not shamble.
Kick ass. Best scene: chainsaw accident in the van. This movie rules.

names...

And another one bites the dust

2007-07-27T19:12:00.000-07:00

I just got another rejection letter. It would have been distressing if I hadn't written the job off ages ago. Once again I shred the letter and throw it in the bin. I add it to the psychological resume heap that is my application process. I have resigned myself to my current position as an administrative assistant. That is what $140,000 of education gets me. I can decypher French postmodernist thought and analyse the fuck out of a film or piece of art. I have two essays being published this year, one by MIT Press, but the only fucking thing I am qualified to do is answer phones and arrange someone elses travel and calendar. Lucky me.
Bitter much? You bet your fuckin ass. There are many miles and years between my life as a restaurant person and as an admin but honestly I could have saved myself many thousands of dollars and years of intellectual labour by just diving into administrative work. Like everyone around me.

God damn it.

Yikes!

2007-07-26T20:47:00.001-07:00

Well, it has been some time since I have posted. I keep falling into the trap of thinking that nothing is really going on in my life and then! Two months or more have passed and I haven't written a damn thing.
Things have gotten better. I have begun temping at a new company. I started on May 23rd. I like the company. They have streamlined the entire admin job. it is all software based. I do almost nothing. It is good and bad at the same time. I am fuckin bored a whole lot! But I do have time to read and have been studying for the GREs. I hope to take them in the fall or winter. I'm in no hurry. I may take them a couple of times.
They have begun asking me if I want to be hired. I got nothing else going on. I haven't gotten any responses from the 20-30 resumes I have sent out. Honestly I am making more money than I ever have in my life(as a temp). Like I said before I do practically nothing. They will pay me the same or slightly more if I take the job. On top of which I will have benefits, vacation, etc. Nice. I am so looking forward to a trip to the dentist!
That is really all I have to add. It is nice to be back. I am still contemplating creating a separate blog for "intellectual/work" type stuff. I hope to get it completed and ready soon. I have also been trying to find time to create my website. Finally.
I have begun writing a script as well. it gives me something to do besides sit in bars and drink.

names out.

The Golden Compass.

2007-05-01T04:48:00.000-07:00

Turns out that I have a tiger for a daemon.
Sweet.
They have yet to post a trailer online for this film but some of the pictures look interesting. I like the books so it will be interesting to see how the film comes out.

work, papers, shit like that.

2007-05-01T04:31:00.000-07:00

jeez, it feels like ages since I posted here. I believe it has been about two months.
There really hasn't been much to talk about. I had nothing.
Things got a bit more interesting last week. My company has decided to actually hire me! Moving me out of the temp world to the world of exciting things like health insurance (and just in time really. As of June or July all Mass residents must have insurance regardless of employment status), dental insurance, vacation, 401(k) all that good shit. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I love the company and the people I will be working with but it is so not what I saw myself doing when I went to grad school. I have to keep thinking that in the end I will make more in the investment banking world than I ever would have in the art world.
Anyway on to more interesting things. I gave a paper at a conference at MIT this weekend. I talked about appropriation and queer cinema. People seemed to like it. I had lots of nice film clips.I showed a short piece of my friend Peter Spears called "Ernest and Bertram." This film was a huge success until it was pulled when the Children's Television Workshop threatened him with a lawsuit. It is a retelling of Lillian Hellman's "The Children's Hour" only with Bert and Ernie from Sesame St. It is pretty fucked up.

I think that is all for now. Work calls.

Names out...

Scorpions

2007-02-28T21:34:00.000-08:00

The Scorpions were my favourite band for quite a long period of time in my life. I would say from about 13 till 18, 19. I liked them. They had their annoying "love" songs that got chicks to go to their concerts but they also had mad music ability that got the rock guys to go as well. I loved them alot. I lost touch with them, as most of us did, in the great grunge transition years of 91-94. Scorpions who? we all asked. they were gone. They gave me my first glimse of San Fran:

They also gave me my first tranny song "He's a Woman and She's a Man!" (warning! this video is hella old and rather poorly transfered to digital) oh, and the narration is in German:

But now they have this song and video which I find odd and yet extremely attractive and disturbing if only for the fact that John Corbett is killed by a vampire. sadly a woman vampire. and the fact that Klause Meine is bald with a scalp tattoo. when the fuck did that happen? What the fuck is wrong with German people?

I don't know but I'd move to Berlin in a mutha-fuckin heartbeat.
Bitches.

VD and More

2007-02-14T20:12:00.000-08:00

Here are some recently posted clips of 300.

I stand by my advocacy of this film.
oh and happy VD day.
I offer up this email exchange between my friend Cat and myself today as evidence of how much this "holiday" resonated in my psyche.

CAT: So, did you figure out your VD plan?

ME: first off: penicillin for that VD.

CAT: It's all 1952 in here and shit.

this was preceded by the following exchange will also serves as an example of our mutual disdain for this day. Read and be enlightened.

CAT: Valentines Day sucks on the train. This afternoon a bunch of skinny bitches will be toting giant things of flowers.

ME: Seriously annoying. One of the admins got a large thing of roses from her husband. I accused her of sending them to herself just to make the rest of us feel like losers.

CAT: Nice.

and so it goes...

names out.

300

2007-02-13T04:37:00.000-08:00

Two words: Fuckin awesome!
I can't wait to see this film. The early word is that it truly kicks ass.
This movie has several things going for it.
1. Frank Miller created the graphic novel on which it is based.
2. Created by the same peeps who made Sin City
3. Ninjas
4. lots 'o male nudity...

Finally! A film that I cannot wait to see!

TMI about me.

2007-02-09T04:34:00.000-08:00

Now it seems I can't stay away from this friggin blogger thing. I feel obliged to continue with this meme. Topher has thrown down the gauntlet and who am I to not rise to the challenge?
Here we go:
A) Four jobs I have had in my life:

1. Fry Cook

2. Bartender

3. Electronics salesman

4. Mac tech

B) Four movies I would watch over and over:

1. Brazil

2. The Seventh Seal

3. Cheech and Chong's Next Movie

4. Office Space

C) Four books I have loved:

1. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

2. A Brief History of Time

3. The Second Self: Computers and the Human Spirit

4. Kitchen Confidential

D) Four places I have lived:

1. Exmouth, Western Australia

2. Manila, the Philippines

3. Guam

4. Newport, RI

E) Four TV shows I love:

1. LOST

2. No Reservations

3. Futurama

4. Venture Brothers

F) Four places I have been on vacation:

1. Hawaii

2. France

3. Germany

4. Singapore

G) Four of my favorite foods are:

1. Steak au poivre

2. Mom's beef stew (my own is pretty tasty too!)

3. Tuna sashimi

4. Australian/British fish and chips

H) Four places I would rather be right now:

1. Back in bed

2. On a beach somewhere warm with a cabana boy bringing me cocktails

3. NYC

4. Berlin for the film fest

I) Four friends I think will respond first:
Skipping this one as I am the last in line!

names out...

I'm twenty years shy of handsome.

2007-02-08T17:24:00.000-08:00

okay, I realise it has been a while since I posted here. I had gotten disillusioned to the whole "blogging" thing. It felt so tied to my graduate experience that once I had finished I no longer had anything to write about. Looking for jobs and slaving away at my temp job somehow didn't seem interesting enough to deserve a blog post.
I'm going to try this again. Granted, I can no longer blog from work. Access to this site is now blocked.

Short story of the week.
I met up with C and some friends at Davio's last night. This is a big fancy restaurant in the Park Plaza part of town. It is too expensive to eat there but not too bad for cocktails. We probably go there too often and spend too much money. But it is a fun place and the people watching can't be beat. It attracts lots of suits and B&Ts. Something we like to do when sitting at the bar is count the face lifts and Russian hookers.
Anyway, back to last night. I get there first, order my cocktail and get stuck into my book. I notice a couple of older gay men sitting a few seats down from me. They are "bear-ish" types and are having dinner at the bar. I overhear one of them saying how he likes Davio's cause it "reminds him of Vegas." This I found to be an odd reason for liking a restaurant but whatever.
A few moments pass and I am just about finished with my book when one of the gentlemen approaches me. He proceeds to tell me that he was looking over and me and had this startling realisation which he felt compelled to come over and tell me, "You will be a very attractive man in twenty years" he says. I was kinda stunned. I don't think he realised that this statement, while phrased as a compliment, really wasn't! Lucky me! In twenty years my ugliness will fade and lo and behold I will be considered attractive. I smile and nod to him and say "only time will tell" and return to my book. He smiles back at me and returns to his seat.
WTF?

Back again eh?

2006-11-23T08:09:00.000-08:00

So, I am back. It has been a while. I haven't felt the urge to write in some time. I realised that I hadn't posted anything since October! Time flies when there is shit happening in one's life. Several things have occurred since my last post. C's sister and friend visited from Omaha, Nebraska. Which was interesting considering she only recently had been informed of his "lifestyle" choice and until recently had been the wife of a preacher. A preacher from a very small, extremely conservative sect of the Lutheran church. Needless to say, their divorce caused quite the controversy in their community.
The visit turned out okay. His sister was very nice and cool, her friend was a bit of a freak. Not to bust on people who like Ren fairs and Battlestar Galactica but there you go. That is what she was. A Ren fair loving, sci-fi digging, Bible-thumping woman from the heart of Nebraska. I got along with her. C and her got in an arguement over gay marriage at lunch one day. I basically made it my job to keep her out of his face so he could hang out with his sister. I'm cool like that. As long as we talked about travel and sci-fi it was cool. I dragged her to my comic store to keep her out of their hair.
Couple of pics are below.

This is the four of us at Forty Steps in Newport.
C's sister is in the white coat and the friend is in black. Nuf said.

This is the interior of the chapel at MIT. Designed by Eero Saarinen in the sixties.

There is more to add and talk about but it is time to head to the kin-folks for some turkey and angst. Got to love the holidays. This is the year when everyone will ask me what I am doing with my fancy degree and I get to talk about my fascinating temp job in the exciting field of data entry. I'm going to try and stay sober enough to drive home so I don't have to extend the conversation into the evening.
Fuckin holidays...

names out.

I never thought I would be this happy for Wednesdays to arrive

2006-10-04T12:48:00.000-07:00

Tonight is the season premiere of LOST. I am very, very excited. Although it makes for a very exhausting evening as we also have the reunion episode of Project Runway immediately after LOST. We have been hosting a PR party every week for most of this season (we missed a couple of days due to illness and exhaustion). We have tried to make each week themed according to whomever was cut the previous week. We did Cosmos when gay Robert left, then crazy food theme thanks to Vincent's long overdue elimination, and we had cheap beer and fattening snacks when Ohio farmgirl was cut.
Good times! There have been several Thursday mornings where I was a little unhappy with myself but otherwise it is worth it.
I am just looking forward to another season of hottie Matthew Fox.

He makes me weak in the knees (not to mention other feelings best left to the imagination). Oh dear, he is tempting enough to move to Hawaii and become a stalker.

I am really, really looking forward to tonight's television. Maybe Jack's captors will tear his shirt off! I'm especially psyched because I missed most of last season due to grad school. This time I will be sure not to miss a moment. And I have the free brain space to obsess about it!

oh TV! Is there anything you can't do?

names...

Canada here I come

2006-09-30T15:44:00.000-07:00

Our government just keeps getting better and better.
I'm starting to think that Canada might not be so bad. I might even start liking the cold weather.

Legislating Violations of the Constitution

Here is the first paragraph:

"With little public attention or even notice, the House of Representatives has passed a bill that undermines enforcement of the First Amendment's separation of church and state. The Public Expression of Religion Act - H.R. 2679 - provides that attorneys who successfully challenge government actions as violating the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment shall not be entitled to recover attorneys fees. The bill has only one purpose: to prevent suits challenging unconstitutional government actions advancing religion."

Welcome to the United Christian States of America.

names...

The me that isn't me.

2006-09-30T07:50:00.000-07:00

Occasionally I waste a few minutes googleing myself (come on, like you haven't) and I decided to see if there were any images of me floating around the net.
I came across this scary version of myself. This is my life if I had gone to business school:

James A. Nadeau
Regional Managing Director, Southern Region
"James Nadeau is based in Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas and has more than 30 years of experience as a senior-level executive. Furthermore, he has been an executive search professional for more than 14 years. An authority in the manufacturing, distribution and services industries, Jim's proven expertise allows him to successfully advise EUI's clients on mid-level and senior-level interim managers as well as direct-hire executive search requirements.

Prior to joining Executives Unlimited, Jim served as Vice President-Southwest Region for IMCOR, a senior executive search firm in Dallas that was acquired by Spherion in 2000. Throughout his position at IMCOR, Jim was responsible for tripling the firm's executive placements. He has demonstrated his ability to excel as a high-level executive throughout his career and is a three-time award winner of the Performance Forum Award and received the Award of Excellence in both 2001 and 2002. In addition, he is President of the Dallas/Fort Worth chapter of the Association for Corporate Growth (ACG). Jim graduated from the University of Connecticut with a bachelor's degree in Business Administration."

I'd like to think that if given the opportunity I could be an authority in the manufacturing, distribution and services industries.

nah...

And so it begins

2006-09-29T06:06:00.000-07:00

We are now securely on the road to fascism. With the passage of the new military trials bill habeas corpus is even closer to being removed from the legal process. As of right now it only pertains to foreigners and those holding green cards. It is a small step to using these powers against American citizens who simply disagree with what our government is doing. The Bush/Cheney regime will go down in history as the time when Americans lost most of their rights and freedoms all in the name of protection and fear.
Washington Post Article:
Many Rights in U.S. Legal System Absent in New Bill

A couple of quotes for you:
"Included in the bill, passed by Republican majorities in the Senate yesterday and the House on Wednesday, are unique rules that bar terrorism suspects from challenging their detention or treatment through traditional habeas corpus petitions. They allow prosecutors, under certain conditions, to use evidence collected through hearsay or coercion to seek criminal convictions."

"the bill empowers the executive branch to detain indefinitely anyone it determines to have "purposefully and materially" supported anti-U.S. hostilities."

"University of Texas constitutional law professor Sanford V. Levinson described the bill in an Internet posting as the mark of a "banana republic." Yale Law School Dean Harold Koh said that "the image of Congress rushing to strip jurisdiction from the courts in response to a politically created emergency is really quite shocking, and it's not clear that most of the members understand what they've done."

Most of congress didn't even read the bill. They simply passed it out of fear that they would seem "soft" on terrorism in an election year. Once again our politicians sell us out to the minority. Nice. Start looking for property outside of the US cause its one small step from hating and blaming foreigners to hating and blaming queers and people of color.

Andrew Sullivan posted a selection from Hillary Clinton's speech in response to this bill. It is amazing and I'm pasting it here:

"The light of our ideals shone dimly in those early dark days [of the Revolutionary War], years from an end to the conflict, years before our improbable triumph and the birth of our democracy. General Washington wasn't that far from where the Continental Congress had met and signed the Declaration of Independence. But it's easy to imagine how far that must have seemed. General Washington announced a decision unique in human history, sending the following order for handling prisoners:

Treat them with humanity, and let them have no reason to complain of our Copying the brutal example of the British Army in their Treatment of our unfortunate brethren.

Therefore, George Washington, our commander-in-chief before he was our President, laid down the indelible marker of our nation's values even as we were struggling as a nation and his courageous act reminds us that America was born out of faith in certain basic principles. In fact, it is these principles that made and still make our country exceptional and allow us to serve as an example. We are not bound together as a nation by bloodlines. We are not bound by ancient history; our nation is a new nation. Above all, we are bound by our values.

George Washington understood that how you treat enemy combatants could reverberate around the world. We must convict and punish the guilty in a way that reinforces their guilt before the world and does not undermine our constitutional values.

Now these values, George Washington's values, the values of our founding are at stake. We are debating far-reaching legislation that would fundamentally alter our nation's conduct in the world and the rights of Americans here at home. And we are debating it too hastily in a debate too steeped in electoral politics.

The Senate, under the authority of the Republican Majority and with the blessing and encouragement of the Bush-Cheney Administration, is doing a great disservice to our history, our principles, our citizens, and our soldiers. The deliberative process is being broken under the pressure of partisanship and the policy that results is a travesty," - Senator Hillary Rodham-Clinton.

It's about she got her shit together and talked the talk. Too bad it won't do any good. What was that about those ignorant of history being doomed to repeat it? Will we look back at the internet boom nineties like we look back on the Weimar period? Good times that gave way to demagogues and fascists?

Be afraid people, be very afraid.

What to read, what to read, darling?

2006-09-25T19:52:00.000-07:00

I cannot help but follow in Mike's footsteps.
Thus I am tagged:
1. One book that changed your life: Chronicles of Narnia. Cheesy as it sounds, these books appeared in my life at just the right moment. I got them as a box set for my birthday in the midst of one of my families many movements around the globe and they became my travel companions across the oceans and continents. I remember that no matter where I was I always had Narnia. Seems cheesy now but as an eight year old dragged from airplane to island to airplane to some strange land they gave me continuity. And the Chonicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander. A series about an orphan in search of his history and the meaning of his life. Crazy books that meant a lot to me.

2. One book that you've read more than once: Way too many to name. I am currently in my third read of Asimov's Foundation books. Plus the fifth or sixth time with Raymond Feist's Midkemia series. And I have read Ayn Rand's Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged too many times to count.

3. One book you'd want on a desert island: The Fountainhead. I'd be inspired to figure out a way to either make myself king of the island or escape it!

4. One book that made you laugh: Robert Aspirin's Myth books. These are the funniest fucking fantasy books ever written. Good Omens takes a second place.

5. One book that made you cry: We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will be Killed With Our Families: Stories from Rwanda by Philip Gourevitch A book that everyone must read. I made my high school students read it. tragic, true and unforgetable. A heart wrenching read.

6. One book that you wish had been written: The absolutely true story of human existance without christianity.

7. One book that you wish had never been written: I gotta agree with Mikey. All stories must be told, even the ones we disagree with.

8. One book you're currently reading: Four of them to varying degrees: Jared Diamond's Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed; David Leavitt's The Man Who Knew Too Much: Alan Turing and the Invention of the Computer; Horkheimer & Adorno's Dialectic of Enlightenment; Asimov's Foundation's Edge.

9. One book you've been meaning to read: I've had Gore Vidal's Myra Breckinridge sitting on my nightstand for some time now. Got to get to that one.

10. Now tag five people: Tagging is soooo tacky darling. Besides I don't think that that many people even read this thing.

names out...

The further adventures of action-temping-man!

2006-09-24T09:40:00.000-07:00

The temping chronicles continues.
I have now moved from here:

to here.

I apologize for the shitty picture of the Hancock tower. I meant to bring my camera to work on Friday for the purpose of taking a picture for this post. But I forgot and so there you go.
I am now working for the Mercer Management Consulting company. I am temping in their recruiting division. I am entering thousands of applications into a database. 98% of these people will be rejected. Its kinda satisfying (in a sick way that makes me feel really good) to know that all of these kids with their Ivy league degrees will experience their first rejection and I will have had some small part in that. Its pretty amazing to read through their resumes and see these incredible experiences and know that most of them will not make it into the high-paying, high stress world of consulting. It actually makes me feel better about getting rejected from McKinsey. I quickly realised that I soooo don't want to go into consulting. Sure, the money is great but the soul crushing work pace and huge amounts of assholes you have to deal with kinda soured the deal for me.
One frustrating thing this week was that they started recruiting at MIT. They have NEVER recruited there. Now that my ass is sitting in a chair entering these fuckin resumes into the database they decide to open it up to MIT. I was sorely tempted to submit my resume and see what happens. The reason for this is that my supervisor has no idea of my background. The agency doesn't send my resume over for little jobs like this. So everyone around me thinks of me as just another idiot temp (an impressions I sometimes encourage because then people will leave me alone). I don't want to get sucked in though. I don't want to consult!! Never. ever.

On a good note I did get a callback on one of my resume drops. It is for a media and entertainment analyst at a company called the Yankee Group. I was to have an interview with the HR rep on Friday but she had to back out due to being double booked. Not a good sign. But then again HR usually doesn't attract the brightest bulbs. Who majors in HR management? People who found Communications Studies too hard that's who!
Anyway, the interview is now on Tuesday. I would be sooooo psyched to get this job. Hopefully I would be in the gaming and video division. But I would be happy with entertainment technology since that is what I analyse.

I am sitting here procrastinating once again over my writing. Sherry continues to harrass me about her essay. I got to get this shit done! but I am so over that fucking essay. Just publish it already! Leave me alone.
Weekend report:
C has been playing Lego Star Wars for-ever! I played Sim City yesterday for about 4 hours straight and ended up with total neck strain from hunching over my laptop.
Watched Fantastic Four last night. Not too bad. Acting was lame but couldn't tell if it was simply bad material or bad direction. The director clearly hasn't found out how to direct action sequences. What do you expect when you hire the director of Barbershop? Who was the fuckin wizard that hired him? Regardless Chris Evans' hotness and frequent shirtlessness more then made up for the films inadequacies. I could see why the film was so popular as well. It was simply cinema candy. It was like a bag of starburst. Full of flavour but ultimately empty. There were lots of "music video" aspects too it. It will be interesting to see if they rise above or tank with the sequel.

Okay...back to writing.

names out.

John Travolta isn't gay, He's European!

2006-09-18T11:14:00.000-07:00

Another in the lastest series of "don't get caught being gay in public or people will think you are gay" stories.
John Travolta caught kissing another man
Pics spark more whispers about star's sexuality
The money line is:
"Travolta’s lawyer Jay Lavely told the New York Daily News: 'Travolta is a happily married man, which proves he isn’t gay.'"
Because married men don't have sex with other men and aren't gay. They're down low.
While I do think that people should be free to expose (or not) their own proclivities aren't we living in a time where being gay (or not) really isn't an issue? And seriously how could it endanger John travolta's career? He hasn't been worthy of tabloid mention since Pulp Fiction and how long ago was that? And how much hollywood capital does he have anymore? Its not like he is Tom Cruise and actually has a career.
Perhaps he will follow in the footsteps of Lance Bass and come straight "out" with his love of man flesh?

His lawyer issued this statement regarding the photo:
"As a manner of customary greeting and saying farewell, Mr. Travolta kisses both women and men whom he considers to be extremely close friends. People who are close to Mr. Travolta are aware of his customary, non-romantic gesture."

So he's one of those people...the kissy, kissy type.
names...

Sounds like someones got a case of the Mondays!

2006-09-18T08:54:00.000-07:00

Oh dear, back to the grind. I don't know how long it takes to grow accustomed to this whole up early and off to work schedule but my body is really resisting. Granted it's been 10 years (if not ever) that I have had to maintain this schedule this consistently. I would do it during the summers while temping but that was only for the summers! I would gleefully return to my normal sleeping schedule come labour day! But it isn't stopping. There is no more school for me. No more MFA job that allowed me to stroll in at the comfortable hour of ten. NADA! Over, finished. The "real" world has intruded upon my life of leisure. For some reason they frown upon tardiness here. I get all of my day's work done in two hours and then spend the rest of the time farting around the internet. That is time I could be spending at home, sleeping, playing video games, all kinds of things.
damn it.

Speaking of games C bought the new Star Wars Lego game yesterday and spent much of the evening glued to his xbox. It is safe to assume that that will be standard behaviour for him for the rest of the week.
I on the other hand have been getting harrassed by people who seem intent on publishing my writing. I have two essays coming out in books this fall/spring and for some reason the editors seem to think that it is my job to re-work them! Isn't that why they are known as "editors?" One is a paper for crazy woman Sherry Turkle and the other is for a local arts group that has gotten funding to put together a book. I will be contributing the paper I gave at Duke in June.

Fuckin eh. Monday's suck. My head hurts and I hardly even drank any beers last night. it is worse than Sat morning and I drank a hell of a lot more on Friday.
Friday nights drink list:
four Guinness
Three PBR
Two Margarita
Two bud lights.
= fubar. cab ride home + pass out = good times.

There might have been more but that is all I can remember.
We got up Sat morning and made the left over mexican food for breakfast! Es muy bueno!
oooh! it is almost lunch time. I have to decide what I am going to have today. It's pretty sad that this is a barometer of how my day is progressing.

names...

Killing time till five o'clock

2006-09-14T13:22:00.000-07:00

So I snagged this from TK. I sit here bored at work. Figure I'll give it a shot.

NAME SIX THINGS YOU ARE ADDICTED TO:
1. Beer
2. Sim City
3. French Fries
4. The B Side
5. porn
6. Weed

NAME SIX THINGS THAT YOU ARE SCARED OF:
1. Failure
2. Debt
3. Sobriety
4. Open closet doors at night
5. My government
6. Old people

NAME SIX WORDS THAT YOU THINK SOUND FUNNY:
1. Mantaquilla (spanish for butter)
2. Cuidado (spanish for careful or lookout!)
3. cocksucker
4. Moist
5. fecal
6. Ho

NAME YOUR SIX FAVORITE PLACES TO SHOP:
1. Newbury Comics
2. New England Comics
3. Crate & Barrel
4. Saks
5. Harvard Book Store
6. Brooks Brothers

NAME YOUR SIX FAVORITE RESTAURANTS:
1. The Forest
2. Jae's in the South End
3. Ginza - Chinatown
4. The Palm
5. Davio's
6. Cheesecake Depository

NAME SIX THINGS YOU WOULD LIKE TO LEARN HOW TO DO:
1. Manage my finances
2. Speak French
3. Speak better German
4. Control my anger
5. Play guitar better
6. Fly a plane

NAME SIX SCENTS YOU LOVE THE SMELL OF:
1. Killer Bud
2. coffee
3. Gasoline
4. Red Door perfume by Elisabeth Arden (mom's perfume of choice)
5. Burning wood
6. Rain

NAME YOUR SIX FAVORITE OFFICE SUPPLIES:
1. Post its
2. Hole puncher
3. Power staplers
4. Gel pens
5. Binders
6. Giant binder clips

NAME SIX PROFESSIONS YOU WOULD SUCK AT:
1. Sales
2. Clothes retail
3. Athlete
4. Politician
5. Teacher
6. Admin

NAME SIX FAMOUS PEOPLE…THAT SOMETIMES…YOU WISH YOU COULD JUST PUNCH IN THE NOSE:

1. George Bush
2. Dick Cheney
3. Bill O'Reiley
4. Mitt Romney
5. Ann Coulter
6. About everyone I am forced to ride the T with in the morning.

Monday Monkey lives for the weekend

2006-09-11T04:51:00.000-07:00

On Friday I began my seventh gig at Putnam. It lasts for ten days.
I am going to jam a sharp object into my brain -sort of a self made labotomy- to dull the pain. This one is slightly more interesting than the last one. I do have things to do. Reports to run, trades to monitor, stuff like that. It takes me about two hours. then nothing...
In honour of Sept 11 I am posting a couple of fireworks piz from the 4th of July. These were taken from our friends W & J's roomtop deck on Beacon Hill. It seems appropriate. In the late 18th century terrorists, I mean revolutionaries, decided to overthrow an authoritarian government. Sounds kinda familiar.
There is quite a bit online about conspiracy theorists centering on 9/11. A great deal of it sounds kooky and slightly insane but others make me go hmmmmmm in an Arsenio Hall kinda way.

This weekend was fun. We had aforementioned W & J over for dinner on Sat in celebration of W's birthday. We were to go out and have dinner in Harvard Sq. but realised that Harvard students returned this weekend. Yikes! So we stayed in and I cooked. A little stressful as I hadn't planned on it. But it turned out okay. W is a vegetarian so cooking for him is a bit of a challenge being the hardcore carnivore that I am. Food turned out okay and we all got hammered. Good times!
It's nice to have had this weekend since I am starting my diet today.
off to the salt mines!

names...

Nothing really worth commenting on.

2006-09-02T07:23:00.000-07:00

So I am no longer employed in the PRM division of Putnam. They finally realised that I had nothing to do and informed me on Wednesday that Friday was to be my last day. Nice.
I'm starting to get a little annoyed with my temp agency. Just as I get settled and caught up (somewhat) financially I get the shaft. I have to spend the next couple of weeks broke. I am not happy.
This situation is further complicated by the fact that C is quitting smoking. This is a good thing. But not an easy thing for either of us. It looks to be a long painful (and rainy) labour day weekend.
That's really all I got.

Welcome to ******, how can I direct your call?

2006-08-29T14:21:00.000-07:00

I have resisted blogging at work for some time now. I just feel like I shouldn't. I don't want to be seen wasting my precious company's, I mean Temp agency's, time by jotting down my random thoughts here. However, I think I have finally reached my limit. They are clearly not going to give me something to do. I am the temp and therefore incapable of accomplishing anything during my 7 hours sitting at this desk. Other than scouring the seven daily online papers for something interesting to email along to my friends who have real jobs. On top of this they are starting to interview candidates for my temp position without thought to including me in said job filling exercise. Not that I want this job but hey! I would like to make more than a pittance if for no other reason that to justify my rather expensive graduate degree. So I return to the blog and foist my complaints upon you, all four of you.

I hate not having a real job. I hate having to step into the SVP of marketing and "fancy up" his emails because he doesn't know how to use his computer. No wait, I love that part. it demonstrates my ability to use key commands to bold and italicise his text. That is my technology degree from MIT coming in handy! Now I am being used to my full potential! God damn! I love it here!
Oh and of course I also get to use my massive scheduling skills. I am the mutha fuckin king of Lotus Notes! Look the fuck out! I'll get that meeting scheduled and in your calendar before you even have time to say "thanks..uh...what was your name again?"
Wait...what is that sound? I think it is my soul dying...
I need a fuckin drink.

names out.

Sweet dreams are made of this?

2006-08-26T05:54:00.000-07:00

I've got nothing really interesting to talk about today. I was looking forward to sleeping in today. Yet I couldn't sleep beyond 8 am. I slept a measily hour beyond the time I get up every day. It was quite disappointing. I would wake thinking how late it might be, then I'd turn and look at the clock only to discover that it was just 7. I rolled back over determined to sleep more. In fact, I got a bit stressed about it; obsessively thinking that I just HAD to sleep in, like it was an assignment or something! I seriously need something to occupy my mind now that my thesis is done. I finally stopped having nightmares about the grade I will receive. My dreams last night consisted of an ex-boyfriend (who was as much an ass in my dream as he was in real life), a black cloud of a monster who ate the flesh off of people, and in the last hour, between 7 and 8, I clung to the roof of a brownstown and watched several people play and dance around on the adjoining roofs. One after the other they slipped and fell to their deaths.
Do you think I am in the midst of a life change and terrified of it? I'll save that one for my therapist.
So far I have applied for five jobs. Three here in Boston and two in NYC. Clinton is terrified of the New York jobs. They would certainly complicate things. I would have to contact my old circle of friends from the Museum School and start couch hopping. That would suck but the jobs would be interesting. Far more so than in Boston.
Next week I'll expand my search to Chicago and DC.
We hung out with our friends Cat and Anda at the B last night and they were somewhat shocked at the notion of us moving to the city. Not happy at all. But needless to say, these jobs are longshots. I imagine that HBO (where I applied) gets a zillion applications on their website. I don't have any personal contacts at HBO anymore. And those I did know were in distribution not production.

That's all I got. The photo above is of my friend Juniper. I took this while we were visiting a gallery in Berlin. She now lives in Brooklyn.

names out...

My shit is getting old

2006-08-25T04:44:00.000-07:00

I have begun the job search. Technically what I am doing is searching online while at work. My new department thinks of me as the "dumb temp." The most complicated thing they have given me so far was photocopying and collating. They seem afraid to give me anything at all. It is very disturbing. But I am going to let it go as I feel this job, by necessity, has to be temporary.
I discovered this week that too much wine on a work night is not good. Our Wednesday night Project Runway get together involved far more booze than I had planned. I met C at Davio's after work where I had two too many cocktails. So good, but so dangerous. I was hammered by the time William joined us. After a quick stop at Savennors for cheese and the liquor store for more wine we piled into a cab and headed to our place. Then Ann and Dustin, our neighbors, came over and the festivities began.
Waking up yesterday morning was painful. I almost couldn't stand in the shower. I am getting too old for this shit. It made every minute of the day crawl by as I narrowly focused on 5 o'clock. I need to be more careful. I don't have the luxury of sleeping in anymore. School is really, really over.

damn it...

Is this what my life has become?

2006-08-22T05:04:00.000-07:00

I think I have reached the end of my patience with temping. As I sat aside my latest replacee, I came to realise that the euphoria of temping at Putnam was over. I believe it comes down to timing. I realised that this was it. I have nothing else. I have no classes to return to, no end of summer, beginning of fall transition excitement. Nothing. If I'm not careful this could be my life. It also seems that the higher I go at Putnam (in terms of admin anyway) the less work I have to do. My training was complete at 10:30. I had been there since 9.
I must use my time there to look for a "real" job. I have to find something that will give my life meaning or at least pay me enough so that I spend my free time inebriated. That way I won't notice my soul dying.

names....

Is this the end?

2006-08-21T05:05:00.000-07:00

Back again in the blue-est of blue states. As disdainful of MA as I can be it does feel good to be back. Being someplace else makes me appreciate what I have living in Boston (or rather Cambridge). Sure, C and I will never be able to buy property or pay off our debt living here but it is still a nice place to live. Columbus is okay but not very exciting. Lots and lots of malls and freeways.

I have been thinking quite a lot about giving up this blog. I began it as a outlet for venting my frustrations with grad school. With that over I'm not sure what I want to write about and whether or not this is the proper venue for my ranting and raving. I am reluctant to give up the title though. Deleuze and his concept of "any-space-whatever" still excite me but seem a bit self indulgent when complaining about job hunting or my crappy temp job.

hmmmmmmm...

Travel tires me so.

2006-08-18T12:51:00.000-07:00

So we are off to Ohio this weekend. I will shortly be leaving work and heading to the Purgatory known as Logan International. I am psychologically prepared for my anal probe by the Department of Homeland Security. It will be good times.
It's too people have to ruin travel. I love airports and traveling. But the people around end up being such shitheads that I can no longer do it sober.
I went and say Taladega Nights last night. It was really funny.
Cat wanted to see it so I bravely tagged along. We ended up having a in depth conversation about the film as a social critique of America. I'll write more later. I am currently sitting at my desk being paranoid about blogging. I might get the smack down from the Man.
Today is my last day in Fixed Income. On Monday I move on up to the 15th floor and begin working with the Marketing team. Should be interesting.

names...

The Oh in Ohio.

2006-08-17T05:02:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I wrote something here. The past few weeks have been traumatising. My thesis is in and (somewhat) finished. Whatever its state, it is turned in and I am walking away from it. It might suck and it might not. I really don't care at this point. I'll take my grade, whatever it might be, and not look back.
As I begin looking for jobs I am realising that this degree might be worthless. Sure, I learned a lot but servicable skills? I think not.
I'm feeling a little bitter and exhausted right now so probably not the best time to be self-reflexive.
C and I are off to Ohio for his father's 80th birthday. Always an interesting time. I get to play "roommate" and we sleep in separate bedrooms. Good times.

names...

Cursed Lightening Storm!

2006-07-30T10:20:00.000-07:00

So I am finally able to post again. Our internet has been down for a while thanks to this wonderful lightening storm a week and a half ago. it actually struck in our courtyard frying several things in the complex. We were lucky and only lost our modem. Our neighbors lost several things, most notably their TV. That sucks.
When we did get the modem replaced I couldn't get the router up and running. Which meant I had no wireless so C and I were forced to share the desktop. That was lame. More so for him than me. Since I am back temping I can check my email all day long. His company has asshole IT people who have blocked all non-company email services. nice.
I understand why, I still think it is obnoxious.
So we saw Eagles of Death Metal and they were wonderful. Josh was not part of the tour alas. They had some young bleached blonde guy with a really bad haircut playing drums instead. And the bass player was all old and fat and strungout looking. WTF? But they did kick ass and put on a great show. We hung out to catch a bit of Peaches who ended up being horrible. It was like a Museum School show gone terribly wrong. I know you're thinking "is that even possible as they are all so bad to begin with?" Yes it is not only possible I witnessed it in action. She seemed very adamant to writeand perform only songs about her pussy. I guess that is her thang but it came across as puerile and annoying. Maybe its a generational thing. Having experienced punk and people like Wendy O Williams (rest her soul) as well as performance artists like Bob Flanagan I might have been more jaded than those at Avalon. Sure someone needs to sing songs about the power of pussies. But you know, do it better. A metaphor goes a long way. being so blunt is just plain lazy. Christ! Plus it was techno music so fuck that. I have a hard time believing that she opened for the Bauhaus/NIN tour. I would have asked for some of my money back or better yet arrived late.

So back temping at Putnam. They have nothing for me to do so I bring my laptop and stuggle to finish this fuckin thesis. I am so over it.
I volunteered at this games conference yesterday. I felt foolish doing it as I have so much work to do. But a day away from the thesis was probably good for me.
Everyone drooled over the fact that I work with Henry Jenkins. Now I like Henry. I love his work and I got to take his comic book class which was awesome!
That said, Henry was the guy I always had to go and complain to because he is department head. So our relationship was probably not one of fan-boy to fan-object.
Plus he always had absolutely no interest in my research topic. he was never mean or dismissive. It was simply an area of expertise that he didn't care to pursue.
So I simply nodded my head and said "yes, I am in Henry's department and yes it is awesome"
yaddda yadda yadda.
I was assigned to monitor the games room. it was first thing in the morning and no one had arrived yet so I spent two hours playingKatamari. This game is awesome. It is also extremely irritating and adictive. If you haven't experienced it go out now and buy it. It has been out for a while and should be cheap. It is so worth it! Plus the sound track of crazy Japanese pop music makes it even better!

back to writing.

names...

I want you so hard!

2006-07-21T12:02:00.000-07:00

Once again our glorious MBTA irritates the shit out of me. I made a quick run to Harvard to take a look at some books I had requested from the archives. I am there maybe an hour then jump on the T home. Two stops. that is all I have to travel. Between Harvard and Central the train comes to a stop. I sit there reading listening to music. Nothing happens. 10 minutes pass. I take off my ipod in case they make an announcement, usually it consists of traffic ahead yadda yadda yadda. Nothing. Another 10 minutes go by. At this point I have finished the weekly rag I was reading and start getting annoyed. They finally announce that there is something wrong with the train. They are trying to get it moving, clearly unsuccessfully. Another 10 minutes goes by and we begin limping towards Central Square. They boot us all of the train into the crowd that has now gathered at Central waiting for us! I then proceed to sit at Central for another 10 minutes waiting for a new train. I look at my watch and realise that I could have walked home in the amount of time it took me to travel one stop.
Over an hour! that is how long it took me to get from Harvard to my house. Two train stops. The red line has gotten seriously ghetto lately. I used to think that the Orange line was bad but damn! Well, the orange line is still the worst. I had to take it to my job interview the other day but our beloved red line is catching up in the race to be the shittiest mass transit line in the city! Go red!!
Today I shlep once again to Harvard and I am there an back in an hour. WTF!
I think I am losing patience with this city.
I am off to see the Eagles of Death Metal tonight!! I am very exciting but bummed because I have no money so it will be a sober night out! I have to say that Josh Homme from Eagles and QOTSA is HOT! Alas he will be behind the drumkit tonight so no easy viewing. One annoyting this is that it is at Avalon. I fuckin hate that club. Overpriced drinks, snotty ass people.

names...

Please, please, please, don't come to Boston, part 2.

2006-07-19T13:04:00.000-07:00

This is why I don't have a car in Boston. You are just asking for trouble.
"Truck flips on Mass. Pike near Fenway Park"

What the fuck else can happen? Oops, I probably shouldn't have said that.

Responding to my own misanthropic post.

2006-07-19T07:28:00.000-07:00

So I just read what I wrote after posting it and realised that perhaps I came across as a bit too...fucked up. I considered deleting it but then realised that, for whatever reason, I needed to write it. So fuck it, it's out there. But I also feel I must respond to it. As I feel perhaps a recognition of my own desire to wallow in a construction that is my own making. That is, my existence. In moments like these I find myself turning to the well known misanthrope Arthur Schopenhauer. This quote perhaps says a bit about my situation:

"Each person has a character of his own; hence the same motive has not the same influence on everyone, and a thousand small details which occupy the ample scope of one man's ken, while they are unknown to other people, modify its effect. For this reason a deed cannot be predicted on the basis of the motive alone, for the other factor is wanting: the close knowledge of the individual character, and of the discernment which goes with it."

The World as Will and Idea, p. 51.

I can understand a motive to do something but I can never understand what would drive someone to act on that motive. It actually isn't as dark a statement as one would presume to find with Schopenhauer. I'm not sure if I find it helpful but perhaps...

names...

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and sometimes it is something else...

2006-07-19T07:15:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I last posted. I think I got tired of complaining and writing, or complaining about writing. I still have nothing new.
As my deadline looms my insomnia returns. I finally dozed off around 3 and was awake at 7. I'm trying to think of that as a good thing. I got to stay up and watch part of Star Wars III, yay! But somehow I'd rather have a good nights sleep.
I am avoiding thinking about what happens after I finish my thesis. Although to be honest I hope that the first thing is at least eight hours of sleep. But I'm afraid it is bigger things than that. It is a whole lot of "what do I do with my life" existential crap that I am not very good at navigating. I'm thinking of returning to therapy. Well, if I get a job that has health benefits including it. I don't think it is in my budget to fork over money just to talk to someone for an hour a week.
I should be looking to C for an ear but sometimes my problems lie with him and sometimes with my relationship issues. Not to delve too far but trust will always be an issue with me. After 8 years of living with a drug addicted, lying, cheating muther fucker trust is extremely hard for me to come by. Even after three and a half years together I question and wonder. Certainly C is worlds away from S, intellectually, spiritually, all those things. But the problem is me and my purview.
Deep down I still believe that all people (with very few exceptions) are bastards who will stab you in the back if given half a chance.

Quote of the day:
"The flood of precise information and brand-new amusements make people smarter and more stupid at once."
Max Horkheimer & Theodor Adorno

Please, please, please, don't come to Boston!

2006-07-01T09:48:00.000-07:00

Holiday weekends are the worst in Boston. Make it a beautiful day and it all goes straight to hell. This week was torturous. I wanted to run screaming back across the river to nice quiet Cambridge. The city is mobbed with tourists. Clueless meandering meatbags setting out to make my life a living hell. Also school is clearly out so every teenager within commuter rail distance of the city makes their way to Downtown Crossing and the waterfront. Two areas I must traverse on my way to and from work. The photo above is the building where I work it sits in the heart of the financial district which is, of course, right on the water two blocks from the aquarium. My commute and lunch breaks are exercises in body-checking slack-jawed yokels.

Good Times!

We went to the B-Side last night and I had the opportunity to chat with this filmmaker David. His work has been screened on PBS and other places. He used to be an editor for Carpenter back in the early 80s. He made this amazing series that screened on PBS this past spring called "Country Boys." We have been calling him Count Dracul because he has salt and pepper hair that sweeps back and he has a large moustache. He turned out to be a really nice guy. A little kooky, but very interesting. I tend to think that all filmmakers are a little kooky. I think it is in the genetic makeup of those who want to make films.

I am now spending a beautful day in the library. Once again working on my paper.
I am seriously ready to be over this shit. I realised I forgot my power cord upon emptying out my bag so I won't be here as long as I had planned. That is probably a good thing.

We will be spending the fourth on our friend William's roof deck on Beacon Hill. Watching the fireworks and drinking heavily. All within walking distance of home.
Yay!

names...

Is this the beginning of a new existential crisis?

2006-06-28T12:24:00.000-07:00

Ah! the world of temping. What a wonderful, exciting life I lead. Today I spent most of my day looking at virtually every major online newspaper that is published in English. Surprisingly there aren't that many. And the one I like the most, the South China Morning Post, makes you pay to read beyond the front page. Which I find most irritating. When we were living in South East Asia it was one of my favourite papers. It was the English Hong Kong daily paper so it was this interesting mix of Asian focused news with a total British attitude.
So after I read the papers I proceeded to think about working on my thesis. I bring my laptop with me everyday and I look at it. Open the document. think about it some more. Then decide that I am better off checking the papers again. Perhaps, I wonder, something has happened in the last 10 minutes that warrants reading. In the end I accomplish very little. I figure that since C is going away next week I will have no distractions at home and can spend all my evenings writing.
I really don't know what my fuckin problem is. I don't want to be writing this shit the last weekend before its due to be submitted. No No No!
The weekend was nice. Weather sucked as I helped my parents move into their new condo. Rain, rain and more rain. I hung out with my brother which was a little odd. We haven't hung out in quite a while. There is a world of difference between us. He has his house and his tech job and he is content with that. He has no desire for change or moving to a better job. I can't really understand that. For me there has always been a need for more or better. I can't sit and be happy with what I have. I have to keep moving forward. It will probably put me in an early grave or it will get me what I want. Now, if I only knew what it was I wanted...
Right now I would be happy with a completed Masters thesis. God Damn It!
I also began applying for jobs.

We'll see what happens.

names out...

What is my damage Heather?

2006-06-25T10:55:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in the library trying to get started again on my thesis. I told my advisor I would have something to send to him by Monday. I really shouldn't have said that because now I am really fuckin stressed out. What I need to do is sit down and line edit what I have written so far. But I can't seem to do that. I sit here and read blog after blog, trolling my way through the blogsphere in an attempt to prevent myself from having to look at my thesis. I don't know what the problem is. I can edit other people's papers (and blogs and articles. I even noticed many typos and grammatical errors on the MTV website which is why I refuse to apply for a job there. Fuckers can't even proof read their own content isn't that what interns are for?). But me reading my own work? I can't do it. It scares me. I just want to throw the whole thing out and hide under a bed somewhere.
WTF?

Oh they call me the working man, and I guess that's what I am

2006-06-23T05:03:00.000-07:00

I am off to start my temp job. Yay! working for money, what a concept.
Immediately after work I get on a bus to my parents house where I will be spending all day Saturday helping them move. It should be very interesting. My brother has decided to help out. He has also decided to bring his kids along. My parents aren't too pleased with that decision. His boys don't really do much aside from playing Playstation. It drives my father crazy.
I will fill you all in when I return on Sunday.

names out...

Four score oxen have spent over a year in the same field

2006-06-22T06:13:00.000-07:00

It appears that I am (once again) suffering from insomnia. I slept for a little while last night and then stayed awake for several hours. It is this friggin thesis. I kept obsessing about how June is almost over and I haven't even looked at the fucking thing in a couple of months. Part of the stress is having a meeting with my advisor this morning. I have no idea what I am going to talk about. perhaps the stress of not having done anything? I wish I had the weekend to work on it but I have agreed to help my parents move into their new condo. So that takes up all day Saturday. On top of this I start my temp job back at Putnam tomorrow so weekdays are now out.
I am ready to pull my hair out. It shouldn't be this difficult. Why is writing this fuckin thing stressing me out? I just don't have any good ideas and I can't for the life of me remember why I chose this particular topic! God Damn It! What is wrong with my brain.
Damn, I've got to go and get ready.

names....

Social Anxiety Disorder or something very similar

2006-06-21T08:15:00.000-07:00

I have been meaning to talk a bit about my social anxiety disorder. or rather whether or not I have it. I only realised (while at the film fest) that I have been away from social situations for the past two years. Not entirely of course, there have been social situations obviously but not on the scale that I used to deal with. In my old job I dealt with literally dozens of different personalities all day long. And then when I was doing the film festival circuit I would have ten days of full on, non-stop, social interactions where I had to "be on" so to speak. But I have spent the last four months by myself in a library writing and reading. I am way out of practice. I was relieved to be leaving P-town because I was just tired of talking to people. I was conversationally exhausted. I couldn't even do small talk. We met friends out at the B-Side on Sunday afternoon and I had nothing to say. I couldn't talk. I was so out of it.
This was on top of the conversations that I had to maintain in Durham. That was another three days of constant human interaction. Although I could hide in my hotel room which I did upon occasion. And the nerd in me responded well to the media conversations taking place. P-town was different. First of all it was much more social. And filmmakers are chatty people. Honestly I didn't care enough to hold conversations. Not that people weren't cool and nice, they were. It's just one of those things where it always felt like a gay bar and people were chatting and being chatted up and I was never good at those types of situations. Basically because I just didn't care.
Now I am not one of those people who verge on autism. I can hold a conversation. I don't think I require some drug to help me deal with people. But there are times when it gets overwhelming. A former co-worker of mine descibed it as dealing with souls. We were constantly being approached by people who needed something from us. And it was draining. This was of course a teaching environment where everybody wanted something from me. They were desperate to make art and I was the only one who could make it happen for them. I was constantly feeling like these people where energy vampires. I know that sounds mean and I don't mean it like that. I only want to imply that it involved a lot of taking and no giving. I am not an altruistic person, far from it, I was getting paid to be the person who helped others. When I left that job I was determined not to go back to being that person. When people had technical issues I pretended to not know anything. I feigned ignorance. it was difficult. I was used to jumping and helping without a second thought. I got over it.
Ugh! Social pressures. I think I am going to go and hide in the library.

names...

Back from Gay-town, I mean P-town.

2006-06-19T07:06:00.000-07:00

And I am back from P-town. I returned on Saturday morning. They never managed to find a hotel room for the weekend. Honestly I don't think they even tried. The programmer was a little harried. I couldn't figure out why it was his job to begin with, didn't they have someone doing hospitality? Whatever. I spent Friday night with K. We bunked together. It was fun. I haven't hung out with her since the Berlin film fest in 2004. I realised halfway to South Station that I had forgotten my camera. So, no pics...Sorry. The fest was actually a good time. The other times I had been out there it seemed very much like a snotty NYC clique thang. This time people were really cool and friendly. Someone new has taken over which (I think) led to a very different vibe. The old person was very nice but also a bit of a snotty film scene-er. If I want to hang out with snotty New Yorkers I'll go down to Chelsea. Which come to think of it, P-Town is very much like Chelsea by the beach. Lots of hairless buff guys with glowing tans. Weird.
I tried not to feel too inadequate.
Actually saw some great films. "For the Love of Dolly" was spectacular. A documentary about Dolly Parton fans. You have to see it if it comes to your town. Another film "LOL" was pretty bad. Kinda misogynistic. It was a total "guy" film with the women relegated to being simply objects. It was a shame as the director was a cute straight boy who seemed smarter than that. K questioned him on it during the Q&A and his response was that maybe women should make their own film on the subject! Oh poor unenlightened straight boys, will they never learn?
We went to quite a few parties. Drank way too much champagne. Which only happens when it's free. Otherwise I don't touch it. But come on, free champagne? Who wouldn't.

I start back at my I-banking job on Friday. I am pretty excited. I had fun working there last summer. Same crappy position but I am not ready to find a real job yet. I have to finish this thesis thing that is hanging over my head. I am off to the library this afternoon so there might be another post!

names...

Off to the cape.

2006-06-13T12:32:00.000-07:00

Well, I had a great fun-filled weekend despite the fact that I didn't graduate. Our friend K came up from Florida to "celebrate" me and my non-graduation. We spent a lot of time in restaurants and bars. Good times. Saw the X-men as I mentioned earlier.
Spent all of Sat evening at the B-Side where we were met by our other friend L from NYC. She was up for her 10 year reunion at H. Good times that were far too short. Our friends and neighbors D & A got married on Sunday. The wedding was fabulous and held at the State Room. Dinner was great. The people were awesome. D&A are an amazing couple. C & I got the inevitable question. Actually he got it, not me. I really hate the marriage question. I really don't feel the need to marry. I understand the symbol of it but there is something about it that creeps me out. These words will come back to haunt me if we do get married.
Regardless of that we ate, drank and danced our way through the evening. A's parents are super nice. They went around and talked with everyone and knew all of D & A's friends by name. Pretty fuckin classy.
We made the mistake of leaving the wedding and meeting some other peeps at the B-Side. Monday was rough. I didn't do too bad. But C was out for the day. We ended up watching a doc on Superman hosted by Kevin Spacey. Who, by coincidence, practically molested D when he was an art student in Savannah. D told us this story a while ago and every time I see Spacey I think of him trying to put his hands down D's pants (D is a guy by the way). Seem kinda smarmy when I think of it. blech!
Spent the day re-newing my various student ID cards. I am sitting here in the library at H procrastinating. I should be working on my resume and cover letters but don't feel like it.
I am off to Provincetown for the next few days for their film festival. I was on the jury for the College films. So they are putting me up in a swanky B&B right on commercial st. Should be good times. I'll have wi-fi so I'll be sure to fill you all in. I will try to remember to bring my digital camera. maybe I'll take some racy photos. I'm a little nervous as all of the reviews of my hotel mention extremely loud noises as it is situated next to Spiritus which is the late night pizza joint. Basically it recommends earplugs or staying up until 3. I'll let you know what I decide. Anyway it will be a week of movie stars and drinking. oh and some films too.
I'll keep you posted.

outa hea!

names...

The review "play enjoyed by all" speaks for itself.

2006-06-10T08:23:00.000-07:00

thanks to all of your for your support in my paper giving travels. It went well. I guess. My paper was too long as usual. I of course pepper my talk with personal anecdotes with causes it to run over. I was comforted by the fact that two other people on my panel had to cut theirs short as well. We are all a little too verbose. Travel home was a total pain in the ass. Major delays and lots of thunderstorms.
Yesterday was to have been my graduation. Turns out that I'm kinda glad I didn't go. Mom would have been too sick to travel and the weather sucked. She is doing well and home from the hospital. It turns out that she has a variation on Crohn's disease and thankfully it is hereditary. So perhaps someday I'll have the same stomach and intestinal issues! yay! Thanks gene pool!
But all in all good news.
Went to see X-Men yesterday. I liked it but have to say that Brett Ratner cannot direct a film to save his life. It was one of the sloppiest films I have seen since...hmmm maybe Rush Hour? Lots of continuity errors. But I got to see Wolverine kicking some ass which was cool. And his shirt gets ripped off.

more later

names out...

Another day older and deeper in dept.

2006-06-07T19:54:00.000-07:00

Another day in Durham down. I was way hungover this morning. I shouldn't have sat at the bar blogging and drinking last night. I did manage to get up early and head to the conference. I was the second person there. I lasted until lunchtime and caught the shuttle back to the hotel. I tried to nap to clear my head but I was so stressed out about giving this paper that I ended up crawling out of bed and sitting at my computer for the next four hours. editing and editing. On top of it all I haven't done a powerpoint and it seems to be expected. Fuck it. I am not spending my time on that shit. Maybe...If I have the brainspace I'll do it. Well I might just make a single slide with a interesting image so that people have something to look at. I am kinda proud of not using powerpoint when presenting. I didn't do it for my thesis presentation why will I do it here?

Went out to dinner with the conference gang. japanese/asian fusion place. not too bad but there was a hell of a lot of food.
Here are a couple of links for you if you are curious about the conference.
Thinking Through New Media
HASTAC (pronounced Hay-stack) is the host of the conference.
They are doing a live webcast so if you are inclined to listen to my paper the first link will take you to the proper page.

My battery is dying. I am out-a-hea.

names...

Travel tires me so...

2006-06-06T21:30:00.000-07:00

Before I begin I want to thank those who replied positively to my post from last night. I was really hammered and thought about deleting it. But I didn't. Thanks guys. When I feel guilty for rambling you make me feel better.
Moving on...

I am sitting in a hotel bar in Durham NC. It is the only place I can get wireles. What is wrong with this city? I can't get wireless in my hotel room? WTF?
So travel was okay. Small ass plane that encountered a whole lot of turbulance. I tried playing SIMCity but there was no fuckin way. My shit was bouncing all over the place. My trip began with me stuck in some ghetto ass section of Logan airport. No bathrooms, no food. You had to pass through security to do anything. I had to do that shit twice.

Oh and on top of my stress with this whole Duke paper thing my mom went into the hospital last night with an unknown stomach issue. She hasn't eaten or kept food down for four days. She thought it was food poisoning until it went on too long. My sister calls me late last night to tell me. My parents didn't call. My mother didn't want to make a big deal about it. I had a sense that it wasn't a big deal. My mother has had stomach issues for several years. It began with stupid military doctors in the 70s who didn't give a shit about patients that started it all. She had an ulcer for many years that went undiagnosed because they couldn't be bothered to do their job. As a result she has had several pieces of her stomach removed. And now it has caused an intestinal virus. She is fine after a night of terror at the hospital. They are keeping her another night to make sure she can eat and hold down food. I know now that it wasn't a big deal but I think it is time to force them to deal with the whole will issue. I have been elected the executor of the will but I don't know when the last time they updated their will. They have sold all of their property in the last five years. So they have nothing but money in the bank which is the first to go in probate.

I'm rambling which is a sure sign to go to bed.
Thank god for laptops. I hung out with the guy I am on a panel with tonight. He is a seventh year PhD student. I'm going to try not to be too stupid on my panel. WTF? How the fuck did I get here. I am not this smart. Flash back ten years and I was sitting around my apartment with junkies and consistantly smoking pot to dull the pain. I really shouldn't be here. God Damn smart people!

names out...

fuckin ranting cause I can.

2006-06-05T21:15:00.000-07:00

So I spent the morning at the gym ranting and raving in my head about Bush and the state of our country. I tried to upload a rant here but either the net or the site was acting weird. I don't know about you but if I hear one more thing about the sanctity of marriage I was gonna puke. If these people care so much about marriage then outlaw divorce. that is all I have to say. Force people to stay married if marriage is so precious. Oh wait...thats not what this is about is it? Fuckers. it comes down to one thing for me...don't tell me what I can and cannot do. Don't tell me who I can or cannot love or marry. I don't particularly subscribe to the notion of marriage to begin with. There is still some part of me that finds it a little too assimilative. I have no desire to be straight. I have no desire to adopt that "lifestyle." I don't give a shit if that is what people want. But don't inflict your ideology on me.
I know I am preaching to the converted here so I will keep this short.
C and I are thinking of buying a condo. There is really no prospect of doing it here in Boston or Cambridge. Way too expensive. We figured that we would actually get more for our money to buy something in Europe. Specifically Paris. I prefer Berlin which is actually cheaper but C doesn't understand Germany. Ultimately it will be cheaper even if G.W. devalues the dollar further against the Euro.
Everything I have read this week in the news has made me more and more ashamed about American foreign policy. WTF? Is it just me or is this whole gay marriage thing just there to distract us from another military fuck up in Iraq.

Okay, I said I wasn't going to rant anymore. I am off to Duke to give a paper tomorrow. Wish me luck. I am really stressed about this. It isn't like my ghetto ass paper at Amherst. This is real yo!

names...

rainy days and mondays always get me down

2006-06-03T07:36:00.000-07:00

Ah Saturdays...they actually have no meaning for me anymore. Since I started Grad school they were simply another day to go to the library. I used to go to the gym on Saturdays but it gets really crowded with the oddest assortment of people. The people who are trapped in cubes (or labs) all week flock to the gym. And none of them seem to know what they are doing. They sort of wander about, watching the televisions and generally getting in the way...its very irritating. Now that catering season has started I will actually be spending my Saturdays working. Usually I get to bartend which is fun. People at events are always really cool to you. You are the guy getting them drunk. It can be a trifle boring standing around in one spot all night long but the people watching can't be beat.
I'm not sure how well I resolved my paper issues. I am taking the day off from re-working it. I need to give my brain a rest before I return to it. I still think I am confusing many issues surrounding media. It really is a pain in the ass to write about. There is no definative stance one can take. The very concept of media is so totally maleable that it refuses definition. I feel like writing about it is like balancing on the top of a flag pole. If I lean any particular way I fall towards an indeological position that I didn't intend to.
C and I went out last night with his co-worker D. She bought us dinner because I helped her paint her apartment last week. We went to one of our favorite restaurants, the Franklin Cafe. We rarely go because it can be a pain in the ass. They don't take reservations and have only about 12 tables. So you stand (or sit) at the bar while waiting and end up hammered! If you are in good company its great. But if you are with boring people it can be interminable.

names out...

bored, bored, bored

2006-06-02T09:28:00.000-07:00

My paper is done and emailed to the conference peeps. I will, of course, continue to work on it right up to the minute I read it. I am not satisfied with it yet but they harrassed me and so I sent it. as is.
I return to the world of catering tomorrow. It has been several months since I have done this. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I liked the people I worked with but the customers could be a total pain in the ass. I feel the same way about waiting tables. I enjoyed it and worked with a great group of people but damn those customers sucked ass. Not all of the time. There were a few people who were really cool. Maybe that will be my career? back to the tables? I don't think I'll make enough money. alas.

Nothing else exciting to talk about. I leave for Durham on Tuesday and return Thursday. Friday was going to be graduation day. Well, it still is but not for me.

maybe I'll go to the mall this afternoon? wander around...

names is in need of entertainment.

Intellectual meanderings

2006-05-31T06:23:00.000-07:00

I was feeling nostalgic this morning so I am posting an old photo of the television tower in Berlin. This is from Feb 2004.

I have decided to try and work a little harder on this blog. As I near the end of my paperwriting I realised that I will have very few venues for my intellectual meandering and that really was the impetus for starting the whole thing. Otherwise I would have picked a less obtuse title. I would have picked something more reflective of my tendency towards misanthropic rambling.
On that note I am having a bit of a difficult time navigating my current paper. I am trying to break down the concept of new media just what role video plays in that. First of all the concept of new media is prolematic in and of itself. What makes it new and just what exactly is the media? New media rose to replace the term "mulit-media." We all remember that buzzword don't we? If you were anywhere near an art school or dealing with graphic design you couldn't escape that term. Everything was "multi-media" in the early nineties. With the rise of the digital landscape things changed. New terms were needed to deal with the concept of a digitised mode of creation. Thus we got New Media. But this term has been in use (with its current implications) at least since the sixties. And the concept of media and its cultural newness can be traced as far back as the late medieval period (I did not research this, see S. Zielinski's book Deep Time of the Media, MIT Press, 2006). But contemporary usage of the term new media usually excludes video. Wendy Chun denotes new media as the form which is just as innovative (if not more so) than the content. So new media is simply an advanced method of distribution that overwhelms or overrides the content? I find this difficult to reconcile as video art (I feel) should be about content. I understand that I might be a little bit out of line here as many video artists are more concerned with aesthetic aspects complete dissregard to content. But if that is new media well then it spells its own obsolescence the minute it is put on display. It is doomed to be passe as soon as a new and better technology or technologist appears.

Hmmmm. perhaps I should get back to my paper? I have some ideas now. Thanks to all of you. You have been very helpful.

I got nothing

2006-05-29T11:49:00.000-07:00

I don't think I have much to say today. I am sitting at my computer trying to write this friggin paper for Duke. its only five pages but it is like pulling teeth right now. I guess the part that is stressing me out the most is the fact that I will have to read it aloud. its not a simple "hand it in" kinda thing. I have actually spent more time online than on the actual paper.
C and I spent the weekend drinking with friends. I guess that is our way of celebrating Memorial day. That was much more fun that writing.

god damn it.

names

The end of the film festival, finally

2006-05-24T11:17:00.000-07:00

Several things have happened in the many days since my last post. The film festival finished up on Sunday. I was on a panel to discuss the evolution and future of gay cinema. The panel was moderated by my friend Michael and consisted of me, film critic and author Loren King, filmmaker and founder of the Oakland International Black LGBT film festival Debra Wilson and Yusouf from the MASALA organisation. The panel was fun. The festival ended with a screening of Margaret Cho's new film Bam Bam and Celeste. Margaret couldn't make the screening but Bruce Daniels the other star flew out for the screening. The film was cute and funny but a little messy. And it was sold out which was great.
Monday morning I hopped a bus to my parents house in Newport. They are finally moving out of their fugly-ass basement level condo and into a four bedroom and two full bath townhouse. I am so glad! I hate their place and hate staying there. it is just depressing. I have been trying since they moved to Newport to get them to find a better place. it has finally happened.

I met with my tattoo artist and plotted out the rest of my arm. I am really psyched. Now I just have to save the money!
That is all I got. I am going back to writing my last paper. blech!

names...

Another happy post!

2006-05-19T07:16:00.000-07:00

I turned in my last paper yesterday morning. Within two hours I had my grade. Sherry is nothing if not thorough.
In the spirit of "upbeat" blogging I offer a quote from her:

"Thank you for your paper. I think it is wonderful. You have really
found your genre. I am very pleased for being in a position to help
you get into this wonderful groove. This is part memoir/ part
technophilosophy . . . altogether wonderful."

I think I have read this email about twenty times already. I am a little stunned. Writing the paper was extremely painful. She stresses me out. She is the reason I came to MIT. Of course, the skeptic in me kept wondering if she was talking about my paper. Or whether or not she was drunk when reading it.
On top of this the men's shorts program at the Gay and Lesbian film festival went really well. Not quite sold out but close. I think it was bad timing. They moved it to 6:30 this year. It has always been at 8. A lot of people came in late. But it was great. One of the filmmakers drive down from NYC and we had a great chat. He brought t-shirts for us.
I watched the beginning of the 8 o'clock film and it was really wonderful. It was called 20 Centimeters. If it comes to your town and LGBT film fest. Go and see this film. I honestly think that the best new gay cinema is being created in Spain. Five of my ten favorite gay films have come from there. Kinda makes me want to move to Madrid. I speak Spanish better than any other European language. Or I should say that I mangle it less than the others. On the down side the film is about a tranny hooker which is a pretty tired narrative. I'd like to think that the transgendered have other career choices. Yet it seems that cinema can only imagine so much.
C finally gave back my XBox Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. He took it away when it came time to buckle down and work. I am very excited to start playing it!!

I'd say that I am going back to writing but...I don't have to.
If it wasn't raining (again) I'd go for a walk around town.

names out...

Always look on the bright side of life?

2006-05-17T09:04:00.000-07:00

I came to realise over the course of a phone conversation that perhaps I am spending too much time writing about bad shit on this blog. It concerns me when I chat with someone whom I haven't spoken with in a while and they ask how I am doing in a manner that bespeaks of apprehension. Clearly they are only reading my blog.
That said, I am going to attempt (that is the key word, attempt) to talk about some good things.
For one, the sun is shining and the rain has stopped. At least until the thunderstorm rolls through tomorrow. Secondly, despite many successive days of binge drinking (and one mopy birthday) I am feeling fine and continuing to work on my thesis and other sundry papers.
hmmmm what else? I am giving another paper at a conference at Duke next month. A little stressful but still a good thing. The film festival is going well. Lots of tickets sold and several sell outs. Tonight is Guys and Balls. A German film about gay soccer players. I will be doing the intro and then heading home to watch Lost and finish (hopefully) Sherry's paper. It will probably sell out. Cute guys and comedy, you can't go wrong. I haven't seen it yet but it is On Demand so I'll catch it later.
That is all for now. I am going back to writing my paper.
Perhaps I will add a smiley face here?

perhaps not...

names.

Don't leave me alone with too many gay people

2006-05-14T11:22:00.000-07:00

Well, on Thursday night when I returned home from the film festival opener I wrote a lengthy diatribe that I subsequently erased Friday morning. I have decided that blogging while drunk and annoyed is not a good thing. Thursday evening put me in a rather black mood on Friday which lead me to a long evening and early morning of hard core drinking. C and I met up with the other C and bar hopped and cocktail hopped our way about Boston and Cambridge. I really didn't want to go out. I wanted to sit and home and wallow in my existential crisis. Either way, I'm not sure what my problem was. I am always troubled by lengthy interaction with the gay male community. We don't have a lot of gay friends and those we have that are close are lesbians. Perhaps I need to rethink my impressions of gay male culture and those that are deeply planted within it. My world is sooo straight that when I interact with gay people who have no straight friends or who never interact with straight people I feel like I am on another planet. I think a large part of it is cultural criticism on my part. While I have never been wholly planted within that community I did program a film festival for five years. I traveled the world for gay film, either with my own films or for programming purposes. But I could never really reconcile the fact that I felt like I was giving something up (in a larger sense) whenever I self ghetto-ised. I always felt that there was a large degree of myopia in self absorbed communities that was dangerous. While I hestitate to identify myself with the people who yearn for conformity in declaring that being gay is just a small part of who I am as a person I somehow subscribe to that belief. I am not nearly so naive to believe that being gay is not a political statement. That is a dangerously blind perspective in our current political environment.
I remember being a gay punk when my every action was a statement to piss off or offend. And it saddens me to see that cultural acceptance had brought about conformity and banality. Now all of this is weighed down by the fact that I am a gay WHITE male and I occupy a position of power relative to other LGBT people. I could also be arguably described as a middle class gay yuppie (or Guppie) but I would fight you vigorously on that one (and lose if you took one look at our apartment). All in all I can't help but feel lost when amongst the gay community. I don't wallow in self constructed drama, I don't dance, and I couldn't name a circuit party if you handed me tickets to one. Somehow I feel that all of that is bullshit. When out to dinner Thursday night conversation centered on one night stands, which hip restaurant we should have gone to, whether or not this other guy should dump his boyfriend because he like circuit parties too much and I felt very lost. I was the freak with the long term relationship who lived on the wrong side of the river where there is no gay-borhood. I just wanted to talk about movies. what the fuck.

this is, once again, an excuse for procrastination.

back to work.

names...

films, films, and more films

2006-05-11T10:35:00.000-07:00

This is another entry in the mode of the seemingly endless attempt at procrastination. Yet another paper due and me without a coherent idea. So instead I monitor the web for interesting film trailers. I came across one for the new Bond film and I have to say that Daniel Craig is extremly hunky. There is an interesting clip in the trailer that recreates the famous Halle Berry swimsuit scene in Die Another Day only this time it is Bond who emerges from the water! HOT!
You can see it here.
On another note tonight is the opening of the Boston Gay and Lesbian Film and Video Festival. I am meeting AB, the director of the opening night film "Boy Culture" at the airport this afternoon and heading over to the MFA. I'll be doing the intro and the Q&A.
I am not really in the mood for this degree of socialising. I actually had a dream that the crowd sucked! I don't even work for the festival anymore and I am still having nightmares concerning whether or not it succeeds! what the fuck.
my shit is crazy.

okay, back to the paper.

names...

Its pronounced "nuke-ular."

2006-05-08T10:27:00.000-07:00

It has been a long four days since I last commented on my upcoming thesis defense. Before I get to that drama I have an amusing little anecdote (amusing to me if no one else). We are all assigned to an exit interview with financial aid before graduation. Mine was set for Thursday, I thought at 11 am. The best part about this "assigned" interview is that the email provided no room information and stated that "you should put this in your calendar as you will not receive confirmation." What? So anyway, I had no idea what room and I kinda flaked on the time. I head over thinking it's at 11. I stop by the FA office and get a room number and off I go. It was way across campus so I am a few minutes late. I rush into the room,grab a seat and drop my bag, getting settled. I turn and look up and there is some Russian guy explaining nuclear fission. I figure, well maybe the class is running late and so I sit there. Learning about the enrichment process for uranium. I sit for about 15 minutes before I figure that I should escape. I was worried about being called on or quizzed on something. It was really fascinating. I felt a bit like Homer. Although I probably know more about the nuclear process than he does now. So all of you out there ask away! I can answer many questions regarding this fascinating topic. Now I have to figure out how to put it on my resume.

Ah, the defense. One word: painful. First there were numerous technical issues with the Polycom. Wasted 15 minutes trying to get it to work before heading to W's office and using his phone. I won't go into details but at the end the professor from Harvard says "I wish we hadn't spent so much time on the problems cause there was so much good stuff here!" Did I want to smack her? You bet your ass. She even admitted that there was information in it that she would be using in her art history classes! I was very irritated and overwhelmed. Afterwards my advisor admitted that there was quite a bit coming from the other two committee members that he disagreed with.
Anyway, long story short. I was told that I could fix it in the six days I have to deadline and graduate. Or I could spend the summer REALLY fixing it and shop for a publisher. After much soul-searching I opted for the latter. The main motivation being that I owe Sherry Turkle a huge paper next week and the last thing I wanted to do was kill myself trying to crank out two weighty papers and having both of them suck ass.
So for the first time in my life I am a summer student. Ultimately the pros outweighed the cons.
Pro: defer my loans; use of both the MIT and Harvard libraries all summer; use of the MIT gym all summer; possible paid research position for the summer; no family visits for graduation day; no sitting on a lawn chair for six hours listening to a bunch of people pat themselves on the back.
Con: no graduation ceremony; no speeches by Ben Bernanke. Bummer. And it means I am not finished.

We went to Newport on Saturday and I tried to make it up to C for all of my craziness. I got my tat finished and then spent the day shopping. You all know how much I enjoy shopping. After a visit to home depot, target, petsmart, bed, bath and beyond, and (worst of the worst) Michael's crafts! I was very exhausted and was ready for a cocktail. Which we decided to forego as we were both beat. Ended up having dinner at the Cheesecake Depository cause neither of us could decide on food.

I think that brings me up to date?
Off to the library

names out.

time waster

2006-05-07T11:53:00.000-07:00

more time wasting. If I was an action hero, just who would I be?
The Dark Night, Batman of course!

You scored as Batman, the Dark Knight. As the Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman is a vigilante who deals out his own brand of justice to the criminals and corrupt of the city. He follows his own code and is often misunderstood. He has few friends or allies, but finds comfort in his cause.

Batman, the Dark Knight

100%

Captain Jack Sparrow

96%

Lara Croft

92%

James Bond, Agent 007

92%

The Amazing Spider-Man

79%

Neo, the "One"

75%

Indiana Jones

71%

The Terminator

71%

William Wallace

67%

Maximus

46%

El Zorro

42%

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

defend this!

2006-05-04T05:14:00.000-07:00

So, yes I think I am almost done. If I survive tomorrow's defence. I am really stressed about it. My friend K had hers on Tuesday. They suggested she not turn it in and spend the summer working on it. Not because it sucked but they thought with a little more work it could be shopped to publishers. And apparently there is some rule regarding Master's thesis and academic publishers which means she can't turn it in and then re-work it for publication. It has to be one and the same.
Me? I would be very happy if they merely said change a word or two. Although part of me wants to stay and work the summer because then I wouldn't have to deal with my family coming to visit. I don't know. I go back and forth. At this point I just want to defend and walk away.
C and I went and had fancy cocktails with our friends Mary last night. I haven't seen her since out X-Mas party in December. It was fun. I got hammered. Then for some reason I got pissed off about something and went to bed. C is being very patient with me. I am taking my stress out on him. I think he is ready to have me finish more than I am.

I still haven't found a sweater. but at least it will be sunny and warm today.

names.

Fuckin A!

2006-05-01T20:22:00.000-07:00

It never fucking ends. So I email my somewhat completed thesis yesterday at 2 (or so).
We proceed to go to the B-Side and get hammered.
This morning I wake up, have coffee and screw around online. Then...I get an email from one of my committee members around 10 or so. It seems the she "just" got my thesis and didn't feel that she had enough time to read it to the depth that my defense would require. I freaked out. She was the one who told me that she would be reading it "at the last minute" when I asked her about the timing. I guess that she didn't expect me to write something along the lines of 100 pages. There is no reading a hundred pages at the last minute.
I had to re-schedule the fucking thing. It will now take place on Friday morning.
I was so aggravated I couldn't concentrate. I went to the gym for an hour or so. Came home and had lunch. I worked on my resume and CV. Emailed an abstract to a conference at Duke.
I decided to treat myself to sweater shopping. I couldn't find a fuckin thing. All the sweaters are in spring colours! I don't wear baby blue, or yellow, or salmon! what the fuck! I just wanted a simple black cotton sweater. Please! People, work with me! I don't want cashmere, or some fancy wool blend. I don't want to spend $700 on a fuckin sweater.
UGH!

God Damn It! I need a vacation...

names out.

So close I can taste it

2006-04-29T13:51:00.000-07:00

oy vey! I think I might actually make it. I started writing around 10 this morning after spending a couple hours drinking coffee and fuckin around online. it is now ten of four and I am just getting to my main topic. How does that make me almost finished you might ask? I have an answer. Because it seems that the point of a thesis is to pick a topic you can spend 75 pages explicating so you can then spend 10 pages describing that same topic. I have a rough intro, no epilogue yet. I am saving that for tomorrow morning. but by tonight I should have parts one and two finished. I might get to spend most of tomorrow shitfaced! yay!
I stopped writing around 10:30 last night. My eyes were kinda freaking out after staring at a computer screen for so long. I shifted to the television and put on Wayne's World. I watched it until Tia Carrera began to hog the screentime. She was horrid. What was up with her? Where is she now?
Apparently she is now doing cartoon voice overs.

BTW, I am sitting in the library cursing the damn students here who have no fucking clue how to navigate socially. I have really had it up to here and am ready to beat some people down!! If one more person bumps into me because they can't be bothered to pay fuckin attention to the world around them I am seriously going to go postal.
I need a fuckin cocktail.

back to work...

names

X-3 video clip

2006-04-29T06:33:00.000-07:00

Amazing X-3 spoiler from Jay Leno last night.
yummy Hugh Jackman!

Click here.