Welcome to ******, how can I direct your call?

I have resisted blogging at work for some time now. I just feel like I shouldn't. I don't want to be seen wasting my precious company's, I mean Temp agency's, time by jotting down my random thoughts here. However, I think I have finally reached my limit. They are clearly not going to give me something to do. I am the temp and therefore incapable of accomplishing anything during my 7 hours sitting at this desk. Other than scouring the seven daily online papers for something interesting to email along to my friends who have real jobs. On top of this they are starting to interview candidates for my temp position without thought to including me in said job filling exercise. Not that I want this job but hey! I would like to make more than a pittance if for no other reason that to justify my rather expensive graduate degree. So I return to the blog and foist my complaints upon you, all four of you.

I hate not having a real job. I hate having to step into the SVP of marketing and "fancy up" his emails because he doesn't know how to use his computer. No wait, I love that part. it demonstrates my ability to use key commands to bold and italicise his text. That is my technology degree from MIT coming in handy! Now I am being used to my full potential! God damn! I love it here!
Oh and of course I also get to use my massive scheduling skills. I am the mutha fuckin king of Lotus Notes! Look the fuck out! I'll get that meeting scheduled and in your calendar before you even have time to say "thanks..uh...what was your name again?"
Wait...what is that sound? I think it is my soul dying...
I need a fuckin drink.

names out.

Sweet dreams are made of this?

I've got nothing really interesting to talk about today. I was looking forward to sleeping in today. Yet I couldn't sleep beyond 8 am. I slept a measily hour beyond the time I get up every day. It was quite disappointing. I would wake thinking how late it might be, then I'd turn and look at the clock only to discover that it was just 7. I rolled back over determined to sleep more. In fact, I got a bit stressed about it; obsessively thinking that I just HAD to sleep in, like it was an assignment or something! I seriously need something to occupy my mind now that my thesis is done. I finally stopped having nightmares about the grade I will receive. My dreams last night consisted of an ex-boyfriend (who was as much an ass in my dream as he was in real life), a black cloud of a monster who ate the flesh off of people, and in the last hour, between 7 and 8, I clung to the roof of a brownstown and watched several people play and dance around on the adjoining roofs. One after the other they slipped and fell to their deaths.
Do you think I am in the midst of a life change and terrified of it? I'll save that one for my therapist.
So far I have applied for five jobs. Three here in Boston and two in NYC. Clinton is terrified of the New York jobs. They would certainly complicate things. I would have to contact my old circle of friends from the Museum School and start couch hopping. That would suck but the jobs would be interesting. Far more so than in Boston.
Next week I'll expand my search to Chicago and DC.
We hung out with our friends Cat and Anda at the B last night and they were somewhat shocked at the notion of us moving to the city. Not happy at all. But needless to say, these jobs are longshots. I imagine that HBO (where I applied) gets a zillion applications on their website. I don't have any personal contacts at HBO anymore. And those I did know were in distribution not production.

That's all I got. The photo above is of my friend Juniper. I took this while we were visiting a gallery in Berlin. She now lives in Brooklyn.

names out...

My shit is getting old

I have begun the job search. Technically what I am doing is searching online while at work. My new department thinks of me as the "dumb temp." The most complicated thing they have given me so far was photocopying and collating. They seem afraid to give me anything at all. It is very disturbing. But I am going to let it go as I feel this job, by necessity, has to be temporary.
I discovered this week that too much wine on a work night is not good. Our Wednesday night Project Runway get together involved far more booze than I had planned. I met C at Davio's after work where I had two too many cocktails. So good, but so dangerous. I was hammered by the time William joined us. After a quick stop at Savennors for cheese and the liquor store for more wine we piled into a cab and headed to our place. Then Ann and Dustin, our neighbors, came over and the festivities began.
Waking up yesterday morning was painful. I almost couldn't stand in the shower. I am getting too old for this shit. It made every minute of the day crawl by as I narrowly focused on 5 o'clock. I need to be more careful. I don't have the luxury of sleeping in anymore. School is really, really over.

damn it...

Is this what my life has become?

I think I have reached the end of my patience with temping. As I sat aside my latest replacee, I came to realise that the euphoria of temping at Putnam was over. I believe it comes down to timing. I realised that this was it. I have nothing else. I have no classes to return to, no end of summer, beginning of fall transition excitement. Nothing. If I'm not careful this could be my life. It also seems that the higher I go at Putnam (in terms of admin anyway) the less work I have to do. My training was complete at 10:30. I had been there since 9.
I must use my time there to look for a "real" job. I have to find something that will give my life meaning or at least pay me enough so that I spend my free time inebriated. That way I won't notice my soul dying.

names....

Is this the end?

Back again in the blue-est of blue states. As disdainful of MA as I can be it does feel good to be back. Being someplace else makes me appreciate what I have living in Boston (or rather Cambridge). Sure, C and I will never be able to buy property or pay off our debt living here but it is still a nice place to live. Columbus is okay but not very exciting. Lots and lots of malls and freeways.

I have been thinking quite a lot about giving up this blog. I began it as a outlet for venting my frustrations with grad school. With that over I'm not sure what I want to write about and whether or not this is the proper venue for my ranting and raving. I am reluctant to give up the title though. Deleuze and his concept of "any-space-whatever" still excite me but seem a bit self indulgent when complaining about job hunting or my crappy temp job.

hmmmmmmm...

Travel tires me so.

So we are off to Ohio this weekend. I will shortly be leaving work and heading to the Purgatory known as Logan International. I am psychologically prepared for my anal probe by the Department of Homeland Security. It will be good times.
It's too people have to ruin travel. I love airports and traveling. But the people around end up being such shitheads that I can no longer do it sober.
I went and say Taladega Nights last night. It was really funny.
Cat wanted to see it so I bravely tagged along. We ended up having a in depth conversation about the film as a social critique of America. I'll write more later. I am currently sitting at my desk being paranoid about blogging. I might get the smack down from the Man.
Today is my last day in Fixed Income. On Monday I move on up to the 15th floor and begin working with the Marketing team. Should be interesting.

names...

The Oh in Ohio.

It has been a while since I wrote something here. The past few weeks have been traumatising. My thesis is in and (somewhat) finished. Whatever its state, it is turned in and I am walking away from it. It might suck and it might not. I really don't care at this point. I'll take my grade, whatever it might be, and not look back.
As I begin looking for jobs I am realising that this degree might be worthless. Sure, I learned a lot but servicable skills? I think not.
I'm feeling a little bitter and exhausted right now so probably not the best time to be self-reflexive.
C and I are off to Ohio for his father's 80th birthday. Always an interesting time. I get to play "roommate" and we sleep in separate bedrooms. Good times.

names...