So close I can taste it

oy vey! I think I might actually make it. I started writing around 10 this morning after spending a couple hours drinking coffee and fuckin around online. it is now ten of four and I am just getting to my main topic. How does that make me almost finished you might ask? I have an answer. Because it seems that the point of a thesis is to pick a topic you can spend 75 pages explicating so you can then spend 10 pages describing that same topic. I have a rough intro, no epilogue yet. I am saving that for tomorrow morning. but by tonight I should have parts one and two finished. I might get to spend most of tomorrow shitfaced! yay!
I stopped writing around 10:30 last night. My eyes were kinda freaking out after staring at a computer screen for so long. I shifted to the television and put on Wayne's World. I watched it until Tia Carrera began to hog the screentime. She was horrid. What was up with her? Where is she now?
Apparently she is now doing cartoon voice overs.

BTW, I am sitting in the library cursing the damn students here who have no fucking clue how to navigate socially. I have really had it up to here and am ready to beat some people down!! If one more person bumps into me because they can't be bothered to pay fuckin attention to the world around them I am seriously going to go postal.
I need a fuckin cocktail.

back to work...

names

X-3 video clip

Amazing X-3 spoiler from Jay Leno last night.
yummy Hugh Jackman!

Click here.

New Media, video games, blah, blah, blah

Today was sooo painful! I videotaped a conference on campus that was being hosted by my department. Well, they didn't call it a conference, it was a retreat. And they didn't open it to the public it was just for our corporate partners and "potential" partners. It was on the convergence of media and advertising. I'll let that thought settle...
Yes, it was about new media and marketing and I was really annoyed that I had to sit there. I went back and forth about it. I would be annoyed and then I'd realise that I have to job hunt soon and I should be schmoozing these people. From there I would verge back to my Marxist theory roots and see them as the cause of all of society's problems.
That vacilating is probably what bothered me the most. I was personally conflicted.
On top of all that shit, it was taking me away from my writing. I needed to spend today writing. I probably got two hours in, tops. I would rather be out with C right now having a cocktail but I am here, sober mind you, and...well I am procrastinating. But that is because I am annoyed.
grrrrrrrrrrr.
Fuck me. I better get to work.

Oh yeah, check out the conference here.

back to the mine.


names out...

wasting time again.

New favorite website:
www.impeachthemotherfuckeralready.com

Where I found this picture.

Guess how I am spending my day?

Jeez, what am I doing today? I think I'll sit down and write something...
K and I had lunch today. I met her at the T and we walked around a bit chatting about our relative states of craziness. She is balls-out as well. We are both very, very ready to be done. Out of a group of seven, perhaps three or four of us are planning to finish and graduate in June. The rest are going to take the summer to finish. I can't believe that. Who would want to extend this craziness? The last thing I want is to have this friggin thing hanging over my head all summer long!! that is just stupid. Mine might not be perfect but you know what? It will be done and I will walk away.

That is if I stop blogging and get back to work.
I am going to insert a very funny story I read this morning though.

It is from the National Inquirer so take it with a grain of salt.
Babs in stretch-pants. Thankfully a gay brother tried to set her "straight" on fashion.

names out...

I got nothin

writing,writing,writing,writing,writing,writing,writing,writing.
This is what I do. All day, every day. Except when I go to the store or the gym.
I'm getting pretty fuckin sick of it. But it is almost over.
I should have gone to art school. again.
On a happy note K & C had their young-un yesterday. Good for them. Someone's got to breed. It certainly won't be me. Although I do have a list of lesbians waiting for a donation when their clock chimes. I'm already committed to being a parent in some form.
God help me. back to writing. At least it isn't raining...yet.

I bought an Edith Piaf box set this weekend. It is really sweet. Dark, depressing, forlorn.
Good times. Back to writing, writing,writing,writing,writing,writing.

names out...

I think my brain has exploded

It's amazing how the euphoria one feels can quickly evaporate into the anxiety of writers block. I have spent the better part of the last two days sitting in the library contemplating my next move as the minutes tick by and I get closer and closer to my deadline. I need to have this chapter done by Friday. I don't know if I can. I also committed myself to recording a conference here at MIT which will consumer both Friday and Sat. Actually I just emailed the guy attempting to back out of it. We'll see.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. My brain is mush from Friday. It all seemed to really come together. Now...I got nothing.

One step closer to the edge...

Thank god! Thesis presentations are over!! It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I went second, right after Ilya's amazing presentation on advertising and video games. I felt like a downer talking about pyschoanalysis and early video art. I also did not have a powerpoint presentation. At about 1 oclock the night before I realised that staying up all night just to have pictures for people to look at while I talked was stupid. I knew it was the right decision when I was able to fall right asleep. The day was long. I left for a while with the excuse of picking up software from IS&T. What I really needed was fresh air and sunshine. Sitting in a dark room watching presentation after presentation was a bit tiring. Everyone's thesis' sounded great. It's nice to see that we are all such a smart bunch. We never really clicked personally as a group. Or at least I didn't. I'm not much of a group person to begin with. And the fact that I have very little patience for whiney people who like drama prevented me from connecting with several of them. I think that being in a relationship put me on the outside as well. I had dinner to cook and laundry to do. I wasn't going to hangout in the student centre or shit like that.
Anyway, K and I and a couple others went to chinese food for dinner then headed over to one of the professors houses for the reception/party. His place was amazing. Large loft space with a garden. He also just bought a porsche. Just how much does MIT pay people? he also owns a townhouse in Utrecht, Holland. I didn't stay long. Had a glass of wine and bullshitted a little. The dept head came over and told me I did a wonderful job. The compliment meant a lot coming from him. I still go through the distrustful thing though. I think that people are blowing smoke up my ass. I might be a little too self critical. I thought I rushed through it. I read a paper as opposed to standing up and presenting.I didn't get many questions. whatever.
Lots of people asking me what I am doing now. I have no fucking clue. I hate that question. Look for a job, what the fuck do you think I'm going to do?? Idiots...
I left with Michele, who works at MIT. She came to the presentations just to see mine. I was very glad she did. It was nice. She's awesome. I've known here since I was an undergrad and doing a semester at MIT. We met up with C and his friends at the B-Side. Stayed way too late and got hammered. Ended up taking a cab home, not because we were drunk (although we were) but the bartender told us that they had been warned by the cops of roaming gangs of hoodlums who were going around jumping people and mugging them. As we both had our laptops with us we thought it would be a good idea to cab it.
Today I am tired and hungover. but will go to the library shortly to continue writing. William asked me if I thought I would be done by May. I said "hell yeah." There is no way I won't finish this shit on time. I want it over...Several of the members of my class have asked for summer extentions. I think that is a very stupid idea. I understand wanting to give yourself the time to do good work but come on. It is only a master's degree not like it matters.
I'm out. its coffee time. I am going to get the Eagles of Death Metal album today. I can't wait for the show Monday!!!

names...

Go Swiss!!

So it might seem like I have nothing better to do with my day than post here.
Well, I love to procrastinate as much as I love to inform.
And this has to be one of the better commercials I have seen:

Swiss hunks woo World Cup widows

Before this Switzerland always seemed boring to me.

names...

Eagles of Death Metal!!

I must post about my new favourite band: the Eagles of Death Metal. They are awesome and they are coming to the Paradise on Monday night!! The singer from Queens of the Stone Age plays drums and the lead singer looks like Freddie Mercury reincarnated (without the overbite).
Check out their website:

www.eaglesofdeathmetal.net/

IFILM also has a couple of their videos. Jack Black and the guys from the Foo Fighters make cameos. Fucking awesome. I hope to take pics at the show.

Rock on bitches!!!

names...

time wasting once again...

I am slowly recovering from a freakout. I had a bit of a freakout last night. My thesis presentation is tomorrow and I really don't feel prepared. I am afraid I am going to fuck up royally. I spent some time on the phone last night with S, one of my committee members. She won't be there tomorrow as she is in Philly attending a conference. She made me feel a little better and I managed to get to sleep last night. However, I woke at 6 this morning and began doing my presentation in my head. I decided that I would just get up and start chugging coffee and get my day rolling. I still haven't started. As most of you know this is my favourite method of procrastination.

Yesterday morning I walked around campus taking some photos trying to recover some images I lost in the crash. I might have to fly back to Paris and re-take all of those photos as well. hmmmmmmmm




This is Killian Court. In a couple of months (if I survive) I will be sitting here for graduation. Actually I will probably be counting the minutes until I have a cocktail in my hand as my family will be in town visiting.



This is the Stata Centre. designed by Frank Gehry. Cool on the outside but a pain in the ass on the inside. it is supposed to be an indoor town hall type space. There are never enough places to sit and it suffers from spotty wireless. I recently learned that there the shitty wireless was done on purpose. Apparently there are several "top secret" departments (I figure that they mean CSAIL which is the AI lab and not the Philosophy department, both of which are here) in the building and they were concerned that have too much wireless would make them susceptible to net break-ins.

names...

Are you there God?

I can see light at the end of the tunnel! I have finished chapter one of my thesis. It still needs tweaking but I will leave that for later. We went to the B-side to celebrate with some beers. The power went out about an hour into it. It was kinda fun. We ended up staying longer. It was like camping. Good times.
I bought C the new Tomb Raider game. He stayed up way later than I. I retired to read about 11:30 leaving him to his game. I don't even know what time he came to bed.
I mocked him for it this morning.

names...

New City simulation game.

New SimCity type game.
I'm not sure of the system that the demo plays on, probably PC and not Mac. Check it out here.

time killer and thought provoker

This is for those conspiracy theorists out there:

Click here

back to writing.

names...

life can be so unfair

So I am sitting here working on my thesis in the library and watching the world go by.I am sitting before some very large windows that look out upon Memorial Drive and the Charles River. It is a beautiful spring day and people are out jogging or walking along the river. There are sailboats drifting by. And I am knee deep in writing my technological history chapter. Am I bitter? You bet your fuckin ass I am.

names...

Don't push me, cause I'm close to the edge...

oy, what a week I have had. Sometimes it doesn't pay to get out of bed. I am slowly recovering from a massive hard drive crash. I lost everything as my computer fall down, go boom. Nothing could be recovered. The only thing that I managed to save were several papers I had emailed around for feedback. So I am not totally starting from scratch but pretty damn close.
On top of this I discover that MIT had returned one of my student loans and now I owe them three thousand dollars. Nice.
I'm ready to kill some muther fuckers...
Its a good thing I posted some Paris pics here because those are all gone as well.
I don't know if I am going to survive the next few weeks to graduation. C and I are already snapping at each other. I'm being a nasty bitch. I know that. I don't have any other coping mechanisms.

names...

I'm a bad mammer-jammer right about now.

Once again it is time to procrastinate. I should be writing my thesis but here I am writing non-sensical bullshit that is completely unrelated. Past few days have been a blur. of course some of that is the fact that I have been spending way too much time drinking beers. I spend the days writing the the nights drinking. Throw in a little insomnia and you have one exhausted and perpetually hung-over grad student. Thankfully there is only two months left before I have to enter the realy world. Still no job prospects but I hope to turn my attention that way soon. I had my resume critiqued again and will begin working on the job-thang. Luckily it seems that the job market is booming. For once timing is working for me and not against. I have also started working on my tattoo again. I went and spent two hours stretched out on a table yesterday having my arm done. THis time I am going to get the whole upper arm done. He did the outline yesterday in record time. He wanted to keep going and do the fill in. By the two hour mark my hand was asleep and just him cleaning my arm hurt like a mother fucker. I was not about to continue. Next time. I am going back in a month. I have to say that the part I though was going to be painful (which was the underside of the bicep)wasn't at all. The part that hurt the most was the armpit. Oh my god! I was gripping the table with my other hand every time he did the lines up in there. Not good. I can't wait till he goes to fill it in. Thats going to be one special event, let me tell you.
The problem was that I haven't had work done in a few years. I forgot all about the pain. If you go consistently it's not a surprise. y'know? its like "oh, okay pain, I get it." and then you move on. I am very excited about it now though. It certainly is addictive. I hope to have the half sleeve finished before graduation. Its kinda like my gift to myself. And then I go and sell out and join corporate America. Which I am coming to terms with. I like the idea of making money and travelling. woo-hoo! sell out!! sell out!!
I can't wait to go back to Paris with an actual income. I can go shopping! Drinking, eating, shopping. life doesn't get any better than that. Who needs gods? And I say that completely aware of the Nietzschean connotations. I am fuckin sick of it. I have had all the existential self examining I can take. I need some time for good old self indulgence. A little ego feeding if you will.
I will post some photos of the new art work as soon as I get C to take them. It is still a little scabby and swollen.
okay, back to work...

If you...want to call me bay-by

ah, back safe and sound in good old Cambridge. it was nice visiting the wilder parts of Mass but only visit. My jaunt to Amherst was very successful. I was on the first panel and gave my paper first as the guy next to me was having issues with his laptop and the projector. I'd like to think my paper went off pretty well. I got a couple of questions and had way too much to talk about so I had to truncate my paper a bit. I wish I had brought my camera as there were some interesting characteristics to the town. I stayed with friends in the Grad family housing. It looked a bit like an internment camp. Un-attractive. But they only paid $700 a month with everything included. you get what you pay for. UMass was interesting. It has been a while since I have seen braided bracelets. It was like a time warp back to the early nineties. I expected to hear a Spin Doctors song at any moment. The town was chock full of bars, hemp shops and Jamaica themed establishments selling black light posters. And it was friggin huge! I don't know how many students go there but then when you add in the kids from the other five colleges in the area, that adds up to a shitload. I headed home on the bus yesterday and it took me four hours to get from Amherst back to Boston. I wouldn't have thought it possible to take that long going across the state but Peter Pan buslines managed to do it. We spent a fun-filled fifteen minutes at the bus station in Worcester. That was exciting let me tell you. I sat listening to my iPod and watched the chubby guy in the seat in front of me pick at the zits on his neck for the duration. I don't know about Worcester. What a shit-hole of a town. Totally depressing.
I very happily met C and his friend J at a French bistro for drinks upon departing the bus. Thankfully it is just across the street in the newly fashionable "leather district." A neighborhood that is not nearly as exciting at its name would imply.

long story short: happy to be home. we went and bought a wok today. I am very excited.

names...