Family Tales.

I'm going to avoid lamenting on the whys and wherefores of not consistently blogging. It seems that every time I return to this blog it is simply to spend time apologising for not writing and then never write again. Wait...I'm doing that right now. D'oh!

Anyway, I am here to regale you all with a tale about a recent family visit that should serve as a warning to all those inclined to invite family members to stay with them.
Last week C's (significantly) older brother and his new wife came to Boston. They stayed in a hotel for three days and then moved in with us. This is the couple whose wedding we attended last fall in Sonoma which is where they live. The first few days were fine. We lost a Sunday as they immediately called us and wanted to hang out. We spent the day giving them a tour of MIT and Harvard. A tour that they seemed awfully disinterested in. I don't think I have ever seen someone who visits a place and then doesn't really care to see anything. C's brother had the nerve to call MIT "the Stanford of the east coast." Seriously? Are you kidding me?
Anyway, we proceeded to spend the day bar hopping as the only thing they did seem interested in was drinking tequila. Ended up at the B-Side where our tab was a startling $150. They paid for it which was nice cause I certainly didn't drink my share of that in beer. I would have been comatose!
Monday, Tuesday and Wed were fairly uneventful. Both C and I worked so we didn't have much interaction. Sis-in-law made enchilladas on Tuesday that were pretty jammin despite being made from overly processed ingredients. I think my stomach is still digesting most of them. It has been many, many years since Rice-A-Roni passed through my lips or touched one of my pans. Sure, maybe it is the San Francisco treat, but I'm not sure it was a treat to consume.
So Thursday comes along and we all meet at the B-Side after I finish class.
Tequila gets consumed. Lots of it. Although not as much as Sunday as the bill was only $105 this time. Which I paid. There is some tiff between the brother and the wife apparently due to his smoking. She has a bit of a hissy because he smells like cigarettes.
We get back to our apartment and order pizza. They proceed to go into the library where they are sleeping and begin yelling and screaming at each other. Loudly. Very, very loudly...to the point where C has to barge in and pull them apart. He throws his brother out of the house and the wife goes tearing off after him. She comes back a few minutes later and is on the phone with the airline trying to change her flight. All the while throwing her crap into her bag. I roll my eyes after offering up some token sympathy then go back to watching TV.
Then the brother returns and they begin fighting again. This time louder and apparently physically. C has to barge in again and pull them apart. She is screaming and crying. At this point I head to the bedroom with my book and leave poor C to mediate. I have no idea what time he gets to bed. I crash as I have to work in the AM. C is fortunate to have taken the day off. Although by this point he'd rather be at work than spend time with his crazy brother and the wife.

Friday comes along. C feigns a migraine, hands the crazies a map and sends them out into the city. We all meet up that evening for dinner at Legal Sea Foods in Kendall.
Over the course of dinner I start to notice some unusual behaviour from the in-laws. I realise as the appetisers arrive that they are playing a bit of pocket pool with each other. They have cleverly disguised their doings with napkins. I try to look away and pretend that I have no idea what is going on. I look above their heads and out the window. I strain to make sense of the reflected images of the televisions. Anything to take my mind off of the shenanigans taking place on the other side of the table. Now bear in mind these people are almost fifty years of age. And this is their behaviour in a restaurant. Granted, Legal's is not the Four Seasons but surely some decorum is in order? C is oblivious. Which is probably for the best. Who wants to see their siblings acting this way! Honestly, I don't want to see anyone acting like this! Unfortunately, I can no longer say this.

I kept my mouth shut about this. They got in a cab on Saturday morning. I went to the gym for a couple of hours and C proceeded to play Batman Lego. A friend of ours came over that night for drinks and I spilled the beans. C was horrified and has banned them from ever visiting us again.

There is a lesson here. My family never visits. They might voice some desire to but they never do. I can count on one hand the number of visits I have had. And two of those involved an academic graduation.