oy vey

so, I sit here at 1:30 in the morning. I just got back from La Prov and the opening night of the film fest. I am exhausted and a little drunk. upon boarding the return train I was informed by the conductor that I had the wrong ticket. The silly broad at South Station sold me the wrong ticket. She charged me the correct price, of course, but gave me the wrong ticket. Luckily I kept my receipt. plus I think the conductor didn't really give a shit but I had enough paper for him to leave me alone. He tried to charge me $2.50 more but I convinced him otherwise.
Oh Prov. I have such a love hate relationship with that town. The ex is still there living right above one of my best friends K. I can't spend the night there in the event he spots me. It wouldn't be good. He has a bit of a stalker tendency. its been 7 years and he still loves me. or so I am told. he hasn't actually told me but I know second hand that I am still a topic of discussion. I don't think I even want to open that door. I still have the emotional and physical scars of that relationship. I am a far saner man away from him. What is it with the self destructive nature of relationships? Do we outgrow it? Is there a point where we all realise that what we want from a relationship is really not what we want? Does one adjust and accept? I am beginning to feel that my crisis is stemming from a personal isolation. I'm not going into detail here and I probably shouldn't mention it here at all as that seems rather...inappropriate.
moving on. RIIFF
not bad, opening movies were very dark, which was hella funny because the programmer had this dumb ass teen country star, who is trying to make a comeback out of the darkness of puberty, show up at the end with his new "making of" videos. It would have been hysterical if I didn't think it incredible insulting. His songs were written by Orin Hatch. your friend and mine. The Orin Hatch, hatemonger. So while 90 minutes of incredibly dark short films are playing, young country boy is out in the lobby with his family. Dressed to the nines in country finery. Looking extremely...how should I say this? ...fey? with hordes of teeny bopper fans. Amusing? yes indeed!
I grabbed K out of the theatre and we headed to the afterparty early, to kick start our drinking. and lo, the party sucks. No free booze! I planned two parties for this fest and both of mine either have free food or free booze. I'm not fucking stupid. I plan a party that I might want to attend! this event had shitty wine, shitty food and trashy people. If I ever need a reminder to not move back to Prov, I will think back to all those outfits I had to witness at this party. K and I ran out of cash and headed to the bar that is hosting tomorrow nights party. had a nice glass of wine and headed to the train.
which brings me full circle.
I love it when a ramble comes together. tomorrow night is my Rosa Von Praunheim tribure with the Goethe Institute.
Love it! gay nazis! drag queens and a party that will have free food that is actually edible! go figure...but after tonight I haven't committed. maybe I'll stay home...

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