B-Side myself

tomorrow is the big day. off to Paris. I can't seem to identify the source of my discomfort with this trip. it is no longer strickly financial as I my stipend deposited today. So I am a few hundred dollars richer.
I actually think I am stuggling with just what Paris represents. not so much for me but art historically. I have a hard time grasping it and I feel that I am going to have to in the short span of six days. It is something I haven't been able to describe till now. Paris just represents so much. It is beyond what it is and I am scared to be disappointed. I know that it isn't the city represented by Sartre, Lacan, Wilde, etc...insert name here. NYC used to affect me that way.
And I no longer have those feelings when I visit NYC. But believe me, they were there the first time. It was three in the morning, I had an interview at the Pratt Institute at nine the next morning, and my friend M and I decide that we aren't going back to Brooklyn (where we were staying). We were going to drive back into the city, specifically village and go to Stonewall. This is after we have driven down from Prov with my (now) ex, big KG and M. We park in a no parking zone (clueless out of towners) and KG proceeds to get hammered at Nancy's place in Park Slope (where we were staying). Now, this is many years ago when the Slope was not so nice and expensive, think more crackheads and bars on windows. She passes out and we all decide to head into the city where Nancy's roommate is bartending at "Planet Hollywood!" We spend several hours drinking for free. M and I leave the group as they were on their way to hardcore drinking. I was trying to be good and go back to Brooklyn! Which brings me back to our Stonewall decision at 3 in the morning. I couldn't be in the city without going to Stonewall.
We manage to park somewhere off of Christopher St. and head over. And it is just like every other gay bar I have ever been in. Pretty close to every bar I have ever been in. Except for the male strippers and porn on the TV. but otherwise...
I expect Paris to be like that moment. Just like everything I have seen only slightly different. I say this having spent most of my life moving from place to place and country to country.
I will have my moment at the Louvre and other museums. I plan on drinking great coffee and great wine. I am hoping that the food will be much better than Berlin. German food? not so much...one can only eat so much fried white fish and sausage.
Perhaps I'll try escargo again? It has been almost 10 years since the last time!
Tonight we went and had dinner and beers at the B-Side. First we dropped the kitten off at the sitters which was sad. She didn't seem to give a shit, just had new stuff to smell. But I miss her now that I am sitting at home, up late and alone.
She will be fine. Its kinda scary how much I miss the cat already.
The B-Side was great. We saw some peeps we know. had dinner. was craving Indian all day but I knew that the last thing I wanted was an upset stomach before getting on an overnight planride. Those bathrooms are not the spaces to be having bowel issues! seriously!
I'll try and post from Paris. Just to keep you all updated.

To finish the NYC story: We had a beer at Stonewall. Headed back to Brooklyn. Found KG up and watching TV. drank someones beers in the fridge. Slept on the kitchen floor while ignoring the roaches crawling over us. Everyone came back at about 5 or 6 in the morning. KG, M and I went over to Pratt that morning. Parked completely illegally at this police station. I interviewed with some guy and this Korean girl gave us a tour of the campus. It was horrible. They had a pretty cool library, all ninteenth century and shit. but otherwise...GHE-TTO! The campus was surrounded by housing projects. The poor girl didn't really speak english. We were hung over!Not good overall. Not impressive. We were so outa there. I didn't get accepted to Pratt but after the tour I was very, very glad not to have.

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